What I'm Getting Myself for Xmas.

When I was in college during the early part of the 90's, (my second foray into academia) I had to do one of those presentations for speech in which your group invents a product and then does the sales pitch to the class. I ended up with a bunch of dead beats in my group who didn't want to work on it because they had a party to get to, beer to drink, etc. Most people who've been to college, know that drill....

So--I did most of the work. I came up with a product called "Life Light" which was a smokeless cigarette. (I use the idea in my novel Quintessence too, under the name VitaMist). The idea was that it would ignite through some chemical or electronic process, and what you would be inhaling was VAPOR, not smoke. Any smoker will tell you that one reason it's so hard to quit, is there's no substitute. When a drinker quits alcohol, her or she can still drink other beverages, even that fake beer stuff, and this at least helps. But there is no other thing smokers do that includes pulling smoke into the lungs and holding it and lighting it, etc. I knew this would address all those issues and provide society with a revolutionary alternative.

And there were different flavors and extra cartridges that could also include a delivery system for vitamins, minerals, herbs. In other words, it was a HEALTHY cigarette. And you could smoke it anywhere and blow it safely in a baby's face. I knew the idea could revolutionize the industry and send us into better health status as a society. (And of course, make me a target of tobacco industry assassins).

But finally, it would allow smokers to quit, without really quitting. I even wrote a jingle for it.

But of course, I didn't have the money to get a patent, nor the connections to find venture capital. Thus, a great idea withered on the vine...

But now...the vine has re-blossomed, and there are several products like my idea on the market. Though not imbued with vitamins, they are available without nicotine, and it's not smoke, along with the 300 toxins in a normal cigarette. And I love the fact that I will no longer worry about the stink on clothes and in my home, won't worry about finding a date because most of the types of women I'm interested in, don't smoke and won't date a smoker. The most recent (and best) smokeless/UN-cigarette I found is almost EXACTLY like the one I invented. Njoy

So, even though I am bitter that it didn't make ME rich, instead of THEM, it's still what I'm getting myself for Xmas. I just ordered the starter kit. I am so excited. I'll post back after i start using it.

Happy Holidays.

What I'm Getting Myself for Xmas.

No More Hall-Decking for You Guys

Jeremiah 10:2-4: "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." (KJV).

Okay, that's it for all you Christmas tree-hugging Christians. If you believe in what the Bible tells you, there will be no more Christmas trees or decorating!

Thou mustest not decketh the halls!

No More Hall-Decking for You Guys

Fur-Family Christmas

The Cast of characters:

Giz
(AKA Gizmo, Gizzard the Lizard, Gizzy-Giz, and of course, his Russian name, Gizimov Runninov). Adopted from shelter in 1998. Half spaniel, half chihuahua, and all the way sweet and nerdy. If he was a human he'd be in therapy and wear pocket protectors.He eats anything i give him and steals the rest.

Nanny
(AKA the Nanster, Snooder, Smacker, Nanner-Bananner). Poodle adopted from the shelter. Stone deaf, incontinent, toothless. Eats only soft food, wears a diaper and makes "hoo hoo" noises.

Stormy
(AKA the Stormster, the Storminator, Stormy-storm). Matriarch of the LS branch of my extended family. Rescued from a thunderstorm on the Gulf Coast outside a casino, and only later in life learning to share her Mommy with other fur-children and humans. Stormy is a vegetarian and prefers fresh water from the tap.

Poe
(AKA Poe Ditty Super Kitty, Poe-Poe Headed Cat-Cat) Purchased by us at a flea market (they were fresh out of fleas) and embraced by stormy only after much resistance a little over a year ago. Poe was once the cute kitty, and now has grown and is more intense, allowing Stormy to return to her kitten-behavior. Poe has fallen in love with her human, LS, since LS and I obtained separate living quarters. Poe gazes at her lovingly, hugs her head. She is carnivorous.

Poe and Stormy take shifts getting attention from Mommy. Stormy gets her during the day, and Poe gets her at night. Any deviation from this daytime ownership incites a barrage of hissing and chasing behavior on Stormy's part.

ENTER stage left, Shoes. (AKA: Shoes, Shooooooooees).
The new kitten in the extended family.

It is Christmas day at her Godmommy's house. Shoes has lost patience with the hissing occupants of this condo, and is now alternately chasing them, running up and tagging them and running away. Intermittently, she becomes an Olympic hockey player with a wad of paper, and periodically visits my thick house socks to wrestle with my feet, run up the length of my body and grab my head. She is a space invader of the finest breed, and Stormy and Poe do not appreciate it one little bit.

I even brought Giz over too, and he is a little put off. It's not his house, and when I gave him his bowl of food, he set about guarding it like the family jewels--standing over it, a canine vulture, staring at it like it might move. He looks a little mental when he does that. Shoes also makes pit-stops at his bowl to sniff his kibble and thrust her furry arms into it and run away. He then goes over and counts his kibbles to make sure she has not taken one of them.

The two of them have bonded ever since I left them alone together for 24 hours. When I returned to my apartment, Shoes was brashly leaping from the bed, landing on top of Giz, and riding him, while she bit the fleshy folds of his neck. He would shake her off, and she would wrap her little kitty arms around his neck, bat at his face and ears, and try to chew on his feet. He has been admirably tolerant to this behavior, and even seems to be enjoying it.

Nanny is doing the usual: waddling around in her diaper, smacking her toothless mouth, making hoo-hoo noises, or sleeping in a wad of blankets near the fainting couch.

So, here, on this, her second visit to Godmommy's house to mix and mingle with her pseudo-siblings, she is still not met with a welcome mat. But this visit has none of the cowering under the futon. This visit seems to be without restraint. She continues to chase the two older cats, moving blithely into their space, ignoring the parameters. There is a repetitive hissing followed by the pitter-pat of a running cat. She is actually chasing them, and they are so mad.

Fur-Family Christmas