Enough about you

I've been in a really positive place lately because everything is going so well, and I am on schedule for my move to Colorado. It's 33 more days!! Yea! Things are going my way, and if you are a regular reader, you know that it's cause for celebration. Anyway, just because I'm in a good space, doesn't mean i don't still notice some of those little niggling things that operate like a tack in my shoe.

Here's a niggling niggler: when you are on the phone with someone, many times over a series of days or weeks, and they never think to ask anything about you; what's going on in YOUR life, how YOU'RE doing...and when you bait them by saying, "Sorry I didn't get your call. I was busy on this new project--"

They don't say, "Oh, what was that?" they say, "Anyway, I was calling because blah blah effing blah." Me me me. You realize you are merely a sounding board for the sweet echo of their own voice. It's a monologue delivered to a live, but silent audience. Conversational masturbation.

Don't get me wrong. I can be a talker, and I pride myself in being able to intelligently discuss a long list of subjects; and I can get on a roll and not only debate, but usurp a conversation if I get all excited about the subject...but I never forget that other people have things to add, and I always give them a chance to do that, especially after I feel compelled to expound on something at length. I apologize for my loquaciousness, and invite them to do the same. And I always ask people about what's going on with them; give them an opportunity to share, and ask questions where clarity is needed, all in an effort to show them that I care about them, and what they have to say.

Thus, when I come across a person who keeps calling and talking about themselves, but never appears to have any interest in me or my life...well, that's just patently self absorbed. And I find that I am not keen on answering the phone.

Grateful, now, for caller ID.

Enough about you

Shopping for Banishment

My friend Georgie said, "I thought about you in HEB the other night -- shopping with you. Made myself giggle."

"Oh I'm sure we'd get kicked out of a store."

"Just a little kick."

"No, banished."

"Why?"

"Because I tend to steal other people's shopping carts, after they've filled them up and then I argue with them--that they haven't paid for it yet, it's not theirs, and I like it, so I'm taking it."

She's laughing.

"But I haven't done that in a long time," I added.

"I'm gonna have to wear some Depends," Georgie said.

"Yeah! Maybe I'll steal a cart with those in it...although, I don't usually terrorize old people, or the incontinent."

"Stop! I almost choked--"

Now I'm laughing at her.

She started name-calling: "REtard." And then, provided a visual: "Cottage cheese curds sweeping down my wind pipe..."

"Well you've got to get your calcium somehow."

Shopping for Banishment

Shopping for Banishment

My friend Georgie said, "I thought about you in HEB the other night -- shopping with you. Made myself giggle."

"Oh I'm sure we'd get kicked out of a store."

"Just a little kick."

"No, banished."

"Why?"

"Because I tend to steal other people's shopping carts, after they've filled them up and then I argue with them--that they haven't paid for it yet, it's not theirs, and I like it, so I'm taking it."

She's laughing.

"But I haven't done that in a long time," I added.

"I'm gonna have to wear some Depends," Georgie said.

"Yeah! Maybe I'll steal a cart with those in it...although, I don't usually terrorize old people, or the incontinent."

"Stop! I almost choked--"

Now I'm laughing at her.

She started name-calling: "REtard." And then, provided a visual: "Cottage cheese curds sweeping down my wind pipe..."

"Well you've got to get your calcium somehow."

Shopping for Banishment

Sullied Pajamas-REDUX (2 of 5)

She called me. (what i was thinking during her initial "preface" is in small red letters)

"I'm a horribly romantic person by nature, and i just can't help it...the biggest thrill in my success is sharing that--and not just with those i am romantically inclined toward. I make a lot of money and i give a lot away...being able to do good with it--that's what it's for.

I want you to know that before i ever came to Eureka and met you in the lobby of the hotel, that i never thought you were a Dean-Koontz-rich novelist...(I'm sure you could write this and it would be beautiful...) yeah yeah but i wish you could enjoy that with me. I knew you were a starving artist- I'm not starving at all. I have my own money. that was attractive. because you need to be a sugar-mamma? I've been with women who were my corporate peer--if i wanted that, i could have that. That woman in Kansas City, the bank president-- begged me to go out with her again. The fact that you don't live like that, warms my heart. You don't have to talk to me about your budget...i don't care. Again, it's not ABOUT you. I don't need you to buy me things. Not the point. When you gave me that cardboard Lucky Charms cutout, that meant more to me than anything...it wasn't meant to mean more to you than anything. it was meant to be a joke and to keep things light. I don't want to overwhelm you- I think my nature does that. your nature needs to have control of the purse strings, and to feel somehow 'above' your girlfriends. I can't stand it that you haven't been treated that way- it breaks my heart- when did i become some charity case? I don't want you to feel badly about accepting things from me--"

"Look, SP," I said. " all that is pertinent, but not really the issue here. The issue is, i need to feel certain things in order to develop anything long-term. I know what i want and--"

"It's not me."

"Well, that's a little harsh--"

"But true."

"You are not my type, no. And i just didn't feel what i wanted to feel--"

Angrily, she retorts, "Well i was feeling that spark, and i thought you were too and that's why we SLEPT together, Jae! I'm in a whole other alternate reality, i guess...i gotta get off the phone so i can call all my friends and tell them--'oops--i was wrong. I thought i met this special woman who felt something for me'--"

"Now just back up the truck, SP. First of all, we BOTH wanted to find that special person. And we BOTH had needs that we wanted to fill, Bottom line. And we're both grownups, as you're so fond of pointing out. There is no way that 7 days is going to seal us into couplehood. I think it's really easy to superimpose things on the situation that may or may not be accurate. I will not be blamed for your premature announcement to all your friends. You were making some huge presumptions. I know what i need to feel and i simply didn't feel it--even though i gave it a shot."

"Jae, sometimes it doesn't come on like a light bulb."

"This DOES. That's my point. Maybe we're talking about two different things. Real love takes time. I'm not talking about falling in love, right now--i'm talking about feeling that attraction, that chemistry, that spark, the first minute you meet someone...i'm looking for my soulmate. You have to understand that."

"Well i hope you find your fucking soulmate."

"Don't you DARE talk to me that way. I shared that with you because I thought you deserved to know. Don't make it ugly. I understand you're hurt, but you can't turn that on me. I'm not the enemy, nor am i responsible for your feelings. Things just happen or don't happen and it's a myth--a lie we tell ourselves-- that we have any control over it. But it serves no purpose to make it ugly--and ultimately, it won't make you feel better or bring any love into your life."

"Whatever."

"Whatever? SP, your reaction to this is way too intense for the short time we saw each other. You really need to sort this out. See someone, please."

"I just can't believe you gave up so quick, Jae, we had so much potential."

"If you think that my only value was as a girlfriend or lover, then you've sorely underestimated me."


...the rest of the conversation escapes me. That was just what i had taken notes on...

3 of 5: Sullied Pajamas in 3D

Sullied Pajamas-REDUX (2 of 5)