Spider in my Car

This was the only picture of a spider i
could stand to put here, because it's cute
in a creepy, spidery kinda way. I couldn't
spend much time looking for one,
anyway, because i would have seen
too many spiders at one time, and that
would have screwed up my whole day.

My best friend called me not long ago, and in the middle of our conversation, she said, "Hang on, there's a spider in my car and i have to pull over before I freak out." 

She takes off her shoe to kill it and I warn her that shoes do not kill spiders. They have some kind of shield like on the Starship Enterprise, that engages. You smash them and they get up and walk away. 

She claims to have injured it, but crippling a spider is not really crippling a spider--I mean there's all those legs. You can break one and they can still ambulate.

"I hit him pretty hard," she says. "he has to be concussed. I hope he's not in my hair--"

I'm laughing hard enough to keep from answering, because my best friend's hair is an ongoing joke in regard to creatures who like to nest in it.

"You know spiders like my hair," she continues. "Now I don't where he is."

My best friend, Justi- A good
example of hair spiders like.

"He'll wait until you're back on the road in traffic," I say. "and then limp onto your nose, dragging that one injured leg, and bite you right between the eyes."

There is a short silence, and I hear the distant sound of a car horn in traffic. Then she says, "I'm gonna worry about this until I find the body." 






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*Apparently, Mazda had to recall 52,000 of their cars because Yellow Sac Spiders liked to build nests in the evaporative canister vent line. No human hair there, but still.

Spider in my Car

Herniated Disco: Quantum Bungee

So I'm standing in the middle of the room, my T-shirt pulled over my head from the back, to bunch in the front, while I'm gathering my hair up to the top of my head, so that I can put the hair Bungee around it, so that i can apply Kinesio Tape to my neck...and just like that, the bungee was gone.

I continued to hold my bunched up hair atop my head, and looked around on the carpet. No Bungee. I made another thorough check to no avail; I even check my clothes and pockets, doing a little shimmy shake in case it just dropped onto a wrinkle, snagged on a protruding piece of fabric. Still no Bungee. And because i think nothing of talking to myself, I said aloud, "What the hell? Did it just slip into a parallel universe?" My cats (who insist I don't talk to myself, but to THEM) shrugged and were content to just watch the mystery unfold and to see how I would solve it.

I could not come up with an answer. So my next decision was to search for another Bungee. I dropped the hold on my gathered hair, and then Isaw it. It was around my wrist, like a tiny black elastic bracelet. Now, how did I NOT feel it roll onto my wrist? And yet, I have frequently looked all over for my pen, or my car keys and later found them. IN MY HAND.

I regathered and Bungeed my hair, and chalked it up to more evidence that just because I can't figure something out, doesn't mean there's not an explanation; and just because it did not go into a parallel universe, it doesn't mean there isn't one. Or two, or three. Or an infinite number. Regardless, I just hope that if I fall into one of those universes during my meanderings, they have plenty of Bungees.

Herniated Disco: Quantum Bungee