NEAT But Not Reassuring

What were you doing on February 17, 2003?

Did you know that date was almost the end of the world?

We narrowly missed annihilation in 2003, and few knew about it.

A comet called NEAT not so neatly came close to impacting the sun. This comet was over twice the size of jupiter. A well-timed solar flare blasted it out of its trajectory orbit and so disaster was avoided.

NASA's SOHO satellite camera caught it all on video. Go here to see the video.

For perspective, the thick dark line at the left bottom is the arm of a mechanism on the camera that holds a plate in front of the sun, to block glare, so that other objects surrounding the sun can be seen. The white circle in the center of that plate represents the size of the sun.

Now, note the large white object entering at the top-right and moving down the screen on the right. This is the NEAT comet. Compare its size to the size of the sun, and you have some idea what it means to say it's over twice the size of Jupiter. The comet narrowly escaped impact with the sun due to that solar flare--or as the scientists call it, CME (Coronal Mass Ejection).

There are at least a thousand comets that orbit the sun, 160 of those that are near enough to be seen via telescope.

So. In 2003, we were all facing the end of the world, and most of us didn't even know.

NEAT But Not Reassuring

Cranky-Panted Chaos Theory

Okay, i know everyone has those times when they feel that the Universe is out of alignment and things are just not gellin' like a melon, but it still causes me great consternation. I am trying to frame it differently in my head... A series of things have led to my generalized condition of CRANKY-PANTS....
1) I discovered that after 6 months of trying to make a relationship work, it was doomed from the start, and then after moving on to friendship, had to endure a personal attack, (see "et tu brute" on this blog) and
2) Then I discovered that this person had truly misrepresented herself to the nth degree, which made me feel chumped (see "The Truth is Ever Clear" on this blog), yet i must take the blame, since i had plenty of red flags and plenty of gut-instinct that i chose to ignore, and
3) I keep planning and arranging things that continue to disintegrate, and
4) my cell phone service got turned off prematurely, before i could get my new service with another company, and
5) my domain expired, because when i moved, i forgot to notify the registrar of my email address, and so didn't receive the renewal, and now have to wait for them to answer my urgent mail to renew and update my information, which then caused
6) my myspace background to disappear and be replaced by a default one, because my server is inaccessible at the moment, and also,
7) my mp3 player on myspace is not operational, because the song files are also stored on my server, and,
8) no one can reach me via my main email, because it, too, is attached to my domain, which is down.

All these things, like dominoes, have fallen down in front of me, and rendered me cranky-panted.

In chaos theory, we learn that initial conditions are sensitive; one minor aberration, one minuscule change in those conditions, and we can have a plethora of alternative trajectories... meaning, things can feel and seem chaotic for a time, while there are infinite possibilities for outcome being created. So when things seem out of balance or even confusing and chaotic, there is an underlying order to be found beneath the surface. An overly simplified version of this idea is "things aren't always what they seem." This is true as well, of humans, and their behavior--both positive and negative.

So i am left with this monologue in my head, endeavoring to apply a more agreeable explanation, so that i don't remain cranky-panted.

Cranky-Panted Chaos Theory

Shifting Universe

So much can happen in so little time...I have been feeling a shifting in the Universe for several months now. I had some important decisions to make and for the most part, have made them.While my personal shifts are quite obvious--the angst of searching for something i might never find; the fear that that search necessarily engenders; the knowledge that although time is a human construct, it affects my body and i don't want it to; the moral and ethical dilemmas that confront me regularly; the constant quest for unfettered serenity; the need to share my work coupled with the misgivings of revealing too much of myself--these are all omnipresent.

But i can't escape this overwhelming sensation that there is so much more going on right now than i am privy to. War and rumors of war; a spiritual awakening; natural disasters; alternate universes a few feet away from me... the microcosm and the macrocosm.. the promise of change and the threat of stagnation.

Shifting Universe

String Theory Romance

I believe there is someone out there for everyone. More pointedly--someone out there for everyone at each stage in their life. I am not the same as I was 5 years ago, or even one year ago. I am constantly evolving. Constant evolution breeds chain reactions that reach our environment, other people, situations...

Therefore, things shift. Lives re-align.

I also believe that wishes and intentions are powerful. Thoughts are things. I really believe that. So if I keep focusing on what I want, I believe it will happen when and how it's supposed to. In the meantime, I will try to maintain other quality relationships, continue to be productive and be the best person I can be from day to day.

I half suspect an irony to take place--the woman I intend to meet will probably have no affiliation with the 30 some-odd ads I have up on personal sites. I will probably meet her through some unforeseen synchronicity that can only manifest in the most unexpected ways. In line at a grocery store, or through a friend of a friend, or at a party, or she'll rear-end me at an stop sign. (Wouldn't THAT be a great story?)

In String Theory, it's possible to have many universes right next to each other. These parallel universes can hold all the permutations of my existence, alternate paths not taken here, but maybe taken there.. I find that concept fascinating and even comforting in an odd way. Whatever I may feel is missing in the Universe this "me" is in, those voids are filled in the parallel universe the other "me" is in. What if the love I seek is a few feet away, but I can't see it? What if by the sheer force of wishing, I can pull that over into this universe? What if all parallel universes can be shared through the power of thought and wishes?

I am currently working on a novella entitled "Quintessence" which deals with this subject.

String Theory Romance