Lesbian films

One of my biggest peeves is that the films about lesbians are not held to the same standards as other films, probably because their target audience is so hungry to see stories about something they can relate to on a sexual orientation level. However, this should never be a reason to call a film good when it simply isn't.

And Then Came Lola is an example of that. No character development, a plot that is meaningless, situations that are contrived, and a story that was interspersed with some cartoon interludes that were unnecessary, incongruous and distracting. Some of the actresses were decent in their craft, which I think would be even better if they had good material to work with. And of course, most of them were easy on the eyes (three of them, my particular favorite types) but that's about as much as i can say for this film. Overall, it was a grand disappointment.

Same goes for another crop I saw recently, most of which I couldn't bear to watch all the way through. 

Mango Kiss was so stereotypical, as to be insulting--as if it had been made for straight people with certain rigid ideas about how gay women are, what their lifestyle is like, and that everyone who is gay is either deviant, addicted, dishonest or mentally ill. I Can't Think Straight had me thinking straight enough that I would rather have watched all straight characters in just about any other movie, than another second of this one. Boring from the first moment.

I have seen a few that were good--I enjoyed Desert Hearts, Better Than Chocolate, and Puccini for Beginners. But there are some films touted in the gay community as favorites, which I fail to understand;  like Claire of the Moon and High Art. I thought both of those movies were horrid. It's no wonder there are so many people in our society who shun the gay community. Even our creative self-representations can be overtly negative and even repulsive. Now, while I freely admit I haven't seen every lesbian film ever made, this is largely because I lost interest in them for the very reasons I mention here. This is one of the reasons I became a novelist--the same had been true of lesbian fiction, and I finally decided if I wanted to read the type of story that represented me as a gay woman, and made me feel good about it, I'd have to write it myself.

Lesbian films

Movie Review: The Descent

The basic premise is that a group of women go spelunking, and find themselves in grave danger (or, in danger of a grave) from a cave-in, followed by the presence of mysterious subterranean creatures who seek to make a meal of them.

This was not what I would deem a "b" movie, though it might appear to be so at first glance. It is within the horror genre, but leaning heavily toward thriller/suspense, as any gore or violence is not merely gratuitous but integral to the plot.

There are spoilers in this review, so if you don't want to know these details, stop reading, watch the movie and return here to see if you agree with my assessment, or offer your own. (Comments welcome).

I won't belabor this review with details of actress names or character names, and just cut to the chase, except when needed for clarity. There was some initial character development with the women, and past tragedies which figured into part of the plot, so I was please d to see this aspect. The British actresses were all good, and few things are hotter than a tough, beautiful woman with an accent. I'm sure that was for the benefit of straight males and lesbians. I must offer my thanks, since I am a member of one of those groups.

With proper foreshadowing that caves are pitch black and can play tricks on the mind, the Juno character admonishes the others to remember that they might see things that aren't there, become disoriented, or have other adverse reactions. Once the women have hiked to the cave, and descended into the abyss of it to explore, they traverse various tunnels and crawlspaces until there is a sudden cave-in which blocks their escape the way they came in. At this point, it comes to light that the leader of the women (Juno) had taken them to a cave other than the one they thought they were in. There was no map to refer to for an alternate exit, as the cave had not been explored and she wanted them all to be the first to do so, and have the honor of conquering it and naming it. Thus, they are in a pickle, and Juno is not quite their favorite person anymore. They resolve to move ahead and seek a route out of the cave, as they cannot remain where they are without suffocating or risking another cave-in.

sidebar: I was already chewing my nails up to this point because I had to watch these women wriggle through these tiny tunnels the size of a paper towel tube--okay, not that small, but suffice to say, this inspired great phobic shivers in me. This is the last thing in the world I would do "for fun." I'd sooner perform an appendectomy on myself with a spoon. One of the women got stuck, and panicked just before the cave-in, and that would have been my reaction. Panic. First, I would not have crawled in that tunnel if I had the leas t propensity to panic in confined spaces. Which I do. So I wouldn't do it to begin with. I would not have rappelled into the cave either. I would not have gone on the trip at all. But if for some mistaken reason I did go on that expedition, I would have taken one look at those tiny tunnels and said. "I'll be up-top at the campsite, sucking on my electronic cigarette. See you later." Then I would have climbed my frantic ass back up to open air. So anyway, it did make me wonder why the writer had that character there in the first place. I guess for extra tension, so she could freak out. IF that character were me, it would not be for extra tension, it would have been for comic relief. I've been laughed at frequently for my responses to uncomfortable situations.

Anyway. I was already freaked out and expecting the tension to increase, because I hadn't yet seen any monsters and I knew they were just around a rocky corner. This was accurate. Juno warned the others to be mindful (mine-full?) that their batteries were going to run out in the flashlights at some point, and they needed to make haste to find an exit from the cave.

Sidebar: if I were going spelunking, I would not rely on the batteries of a flashlight. I would have invented an illumination device that ran on human fear. That visibility would have been celestial. Like a Hollywood Searchlight, or a Supernova. A Quasar, even. Barring that, I would have brought several of those crank-up flashlights that don't rely on batteries, but on manual turning of a handle. I would have just walked through those caverns, cranking like an organ grinder's monkey. (Wikipedia defines "Organ Grinder" well, but adds, "The grinder would crank his organ in a public place..." I'm not sure I should align myself with something like that, but I was just trying to make a point.).

Back to The Descent: Shortly, one of the women was squinting into the darkness with her paltry flashlight, sure she was seeing a strange man lurking there. Any man who would be down there would naturally be strange. Her friends, of course, told her that her mind was playing tricks on her. I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who knew better, and yelled at the TV "She is NOT imagining the man in the dark! And it isn't a man!" The woman who saw the creature said that maybe he could help them get out. Yeah. In the stomachs of subterranean monkey-men (there's that monkey reference again..although these creatures were pale, I wouldn't label them White-Headed Capuchins.).

Sidebar: I think I just might have been more frightened by the idea of me being trapped in one of those paper-towel-tube tunnels, than by the subterranean humanoids...at least I could have some control over fighting them. And just like the flashlight issue, I would not be reduced to only pick axes. I would have brought an M-16, some tasers, blasting caps, and a machete. Throwing battery acid on them wouldn't have worked, because the fuckers were already blind, having adapted to living underground through some corrupted evolutionary process. (Perhaps the first humans to explore the cave evolved into these creatures...mmm...sequel).

Anyway, if you're stuck in a tunnel, you're stuck. And if there's a cave-in, you're stuck and squished. But if you have weapons and can move, there's a much better chance of survival. I'd rather go out in hand-to-hand combat, than being crushed in between a rock and a hard place.

One problem I had with the movie, like so many of its kind, is that it seems to be filmed too dark. My friend told me she saw all the details I missed. But she has a plasma TV. I reminded her that not everyone has a fancy-schmancy plasma TV, and they ought to make films for people like me, who can't throw their money around....Most of what I saw in this movie was figures with flashlights moving in the dark, and what I heard was screaming, and echo-location clicking, heavy breathing and grunting, slurping, and gnawing sounds. I might have to watch the movie again after I adjust the contrast on my television.

My first thought, after the movie ended, was that I would love to see a sequel about what took place after the horror of what happened is shared with proper authorities and a special investigations team returns to that cave to gather information. All kinds of possibilities there.

So, Overall, I would rate this film highly, if you enjoy movies that keep you mercilessly pinned down until it's over, while periodically shivering and choking on your soda and spewing popcorn.

UPDATE: okay, I looked at it again with adjusted settings on my not-a-plasma-TV TV, and I saw things I wish I hadn't seen. The movie is even scarier if you can actually see what's happening. Maybe I'm better off without a Plasma TV.

Movie Review: The Descent

Movie Review: The Descent

The basic premise is that a group of women go spelunking, and find themselves in grave danger (or, in danger of a grave) from a cave-in, followed by the presence of mysterious subterranean creatures who seek to make a meal of them.

This was not what I would deem a "b" movie, though it might appear to be so at first glance. It is within the horror genre, but leaning heavily toward thriller/suspense, as any gore or violence is not merely gratuitous but integral to the plot.

There are spoilers in this review, so if you don't want to know these details, stop reading, watch the movie and return here to see if you agree with my assessment, or offer your own. (Comments welcome).

I won't belabor this review with details of actress names or character names, and just cut to the chase, except when needed for clarity. There was some initial character development with the women, and past tragedies which figured into part of the plot, so I was please d to see this aspect. The British actresses were all good, and few things are hotter than a tough, beautiful woman with an accent. I'm sure that was for the benefit of straight males and lesbians. I must offer my thanks, since I am a member of one of those groups.

With proper foreshadowing that caves are pitch black and can play tricks on the mind, the Juno character admonishes the others to remember that they might see things that aren't there, become disoriented, or have other adverse reactions. Once the women have hiked to the cave, and descended into the abyss of it to explore, they traverse various tunnels and crawlspaces until there is a sudden cave-in which blocks their escape the way they came in. At this point, it comes to light that the leader of the women (Juno) had taken them to a cave other than the one they thought they were in. There was no map to refer to for an alternate exit, as the cave had not been explored and she wanted them all to be the first to do so, and have the honor of conquering it and naming it. Thus, they are in a pickle, and Juno is not quite their favorite person anymore. They resolve to move ahead and seek a route out of the cave, as they cannot remain where they are without suffocating or risking another cave-in.

sidebar: I was already chewing my nails up to this point because I had to watch these women wriggle through these tiny tunnels the size of a paper towel tube--okay, not that small, but suffice to say, this inspired great phobic shivers in me. This is the last thing in the world I would do "for fun." I'd sooner perform an appendectomy on myself with a spoon. One of the women got stuck, and panicked just before the cave-in, and that would have been my reaction. Panic. First, I would not have crawled in that tunnel if I had the leas t propensity to panic in confined spaces. Which I do. So I wouldn't do it to begin with. I would not have rappelled into the cave either. I would not have gone on the trip at all. But if for some mistaken reason I did go on that expedition, I would have taken one look at those tiny tunnels and said. "I'll be up-top at the campsite, sucking on my electronic cigarette. See you later." Then I would have climbed my frantic ass back up to open air. So anyway, it did make me wonder why the writer had that character there in the first place. I guess for extra tension, so she could freak out. IF that character were me, it would not be for extra tension, it would have been for comic relief. I've been laughed at frequently for my responses to uncomfortable situations.

Anyway. I was already freaked out and expecting the tension to increase, because I hadn't yet seen any monsters and I knew they were just around a rocky corner. This was accurate. Juno warned the others to be mindful (mine-full?) that their batteries were going to run out in the flashlights at some point, and they needed to make haste to find an exit from the cave.

Sidebar: if I were going spelunking, I would not rely on the batteries of a flashlight. I would have invented an illumination device that ran on human fear. That visibility would have been celestial. Like a Hollywood Searchlight, or a Supernova. A Quasar, even. Barring that, I would have brought several of those crank-up flashlights that don't rely on batteries, but on manual turning of a handle. I would have just walked through those caverns, cranking like an organ grinder's monkey. (Wikipedia defines "Organ Grinder" well, but adds, "The grinder would crank his organ in a public place..." I'm not sure I should align myself with something like that, but I was just trying to make a point.).

Back to The Descent: Shortly, one of the women was squinting into the darkness with her paltry flashlight, sure she was seeing a strange man lurking there. Any man who would be down there would naturally be strange. Her friends, of course, told her that her mind was playing tricks on her. I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who knew better, and yelled at the TV "She is NOT imagining the man in the dark! And it isn't a man!" The woman who saw the creature said that maybe he could help them get out. Yeah. In the stomachs of subterranean monkey-men (there's that monkey reference again..although these creatures were pale, I wouldn't label them White-Headed Capuchins.).

Sidebar: I think I just might have been more frightened by the idea of me being trapped in one of those paper-towel-tube tunnels, than by the subterranean humanoids...at least I could have some control over fighting them. And just like the flashlight issue, I would not be reduced to only pick axes. I would have brought an M-16, some tasers, blasting caps, and a machete. Throwing battery acid on them wouldn't have worked, because the fuckers were already blind, having adapted to living underground through some corrupted evolutionary process. (Perhaps the first humans to explore the cave evolved into these creatures...mmm...sequel).

Anyway, if you're stuck in a tunnel, you're stuck. And if there's a cave-in, you're stuck and squished. But if you have weapons and can move, there's a much better chance of survival. I'd rather go out in hand-to-hand combat, than being crushed in between a rock and a hard place.

One problem I had with the movie, like so many of its kind, is that it seems to be filmed too dark. My friend told me she saw all the details I missed. But she has a plasma TV. I reminded her that not everyone has a fancy-schmancy plasma TV, and they ought to make films for people like me, who can't throw their money around....Most of what I saw in this movie was figures with flashlights moving in the dark, and what I heard was screaming, and echo-location clicking, heavy breathing and grunting, slurping, and gnawing sounds. I might have to watch the movie again after I adjust the contrast on my television.

My first thought, after the movie ended, was that I would love to see a sequel about what took place after the horror of what happened is shared with proper authorities and a special investigations team returns to that cave to gather information. All kinds of possibilities there.

So, Overall, I would rate this film highly, if you enjoy movies that keep you mercilessly pinned down until it's over, while periodically shivering and choking on your soda and spewing popcorn.

UPDATE: okay, I looked at it again with adjusted settings on my not-a-plasma-TV TV, and I saw things I wish I hadn't seen. The movie is even scarier if you can actually see what's happening. Maybe I'm better off without a Plasma TV.

Movie Review: The Descent

Movie Review: Already Dead

Whenever I watch a movie on FEARnet, I expect it to be a gory, slasher kind of thing. Most people who know me, know that I don't like slasher movies...what I would call gratuitous violence. This is exemplified with all the popular fare that includes some teenager wandering into the dark room, and having their head cut off with piano wire, or a scantily clad blond receiving a railroad spike in her forehead. This, for me, goes over a line. But in the interest of entertainment, suspense, or the elucidation of human nature, i do enjoy watching how writers render the reactions of human beings in challenging and frightening situations. That strikes to the core of who we are as evolved animals....

As a writer, I am familiar with the machinations of story-creation, and I understand what human nature responds to, even if sometimes it reveals an underdeveloped or afflicted psyche. I am not interested in feeding that group of readers. So when I do watch a movie with graphic scenes, I at least want it to be integral to the plot, and of course, that suggests that there IS a plot. My leanings in this direction are more in the genre of thriller and suspense, then...

Recommendation without giving it away: it's worth seeing. Tense, well-done, with an intriguing human element that gives it real bite.

Review-- SPOILER Alert.
Having said that, I was pleasantly surprised by Already Dead, starring Ron Eldard. He's one of those actors you recognize but can't place and know little about. He is perhaps best known for his roles in Black Hawk Down and ER. In this film, he plays a father and husband, Thomas Archer; a successful architect with an idyllic life filled by a loving wife and an adored son. Archer has suffered through a vicious home invasion, and the story begins by integrating present-time with flashbacks to build the story. At the beginning, we see him traveling via subway with a bag full of money, and periodically taking instructions from a cell phone about where to go to drop the cash. The clever part of this script, here, is that we assume he is paying off kidnappers. What we discover, however, is that he is paying for the ability to exact revenge on the man who killed his son in that home invasion. I was even more interested at this point, because it was setting up to be a movie about vengeance, in the vigilante category. I've always been fascinated by this area of the human psyche. I even wrote a screenplay about it years ago, and have recently been finishing up the novella version of it, both entitled Another Justice. In Already Dead, then, the reference is at first to Archer's son.

Through more flashbacks, we learn that the detective on the case notified Archer that he was being reassigned and the case was going to be dropped, but suggested he see a therapist the department used frequently for officers who had been through traumatic events. Since Archer can find no peace on his own, he goes to see the counselor. After several months of treatment, Archer feels no better and finally, the psychologist, played by Christopher Plummer, informs him of a secret group of men in various positions of law enforcement, who take matters into their own hands, rather than let criminals skirt the system. In this scenario, they offer up his son's murderer for the hefty fee of $500k, so that this grieving father can exact revenge. I would immediately be suspicious of an organization that claimed to be about seeking justice and then charged the cost of a home in an upperclass neighborhood to offer this option to someone who is devastated by grief. But maybe that's a clue to the nature of these men.

After we are made aware that his son was not kidnapped, but killed, and that Archer has accepted the option to exact revenge, we know that the money is to pay for the privilege of doing that. Archer winds up in a room located in an abandoned warehouse-type building. The killer is strapped to a chair with a hood over his head. On a long table in the room is every manner of torture device, to include many power tools. Through the cell phone, he is reassured that the best technology was used, including DNA evidence, to conclude that this is indeed the man who killed his son. There are cameras throughout the building and in that room, where the organization can watch him and monitor the situation. Archer pulls the killer's hood off and confronts him, eye-to-eye showing him a photo of his son, and asking him if he recognizes the boy. The guy in the chair denies any recognition. Eventually, Archer's grief and anger erupts, and he begins to inflict pain, first with a bat, and then eventually by nailing one of the killer's hands to the chair arm. This is where things get interesting. When he is about to crucify the other hand, he turns it palm up to drive the nail, and sees the guy's arm. He flashes back on the home-invasion, and recalls a tattoo on the invader's left forearm. Archer sees now that this guy he has just abused and nailed to a chair, does not have that tattoo.

Let the hand-wringing begin.

He points to the cell phone so that the guys behind the camera can see him, and they call. He tells them they have the wrong man, that he doesn't have a tattoo. They try to reassure him there is no mistake and that his mind is playing tricks, but he is certain he saw the tattoo that night. Frantic, he asks to speak to the psychologist who hooked him up with this organization, and so the therapist is on the phone, trying to talk him out of changing his mind. He warns that the agreement was made, and the organization cannot allow it to stop, it's gone too far. The job has to be finished. Archer says they can keep the money, but the man must be allowed to leave with him, safely. The doctor intimates that if he doesn't go through with it, his life is in danger. Ultimately, ethics win out over his need for revenge, and Archer refuses to continue. He destroys the camera.

The man in the chair asks for the nail to be removed, and Archer complies, and the removal is every bit as painful to watch as the insertion was. He answers the ringing cell phone and insists the doctor come to the room immediately. The doctor arrives, still trying to convince him to finish the job, and says that even if this is not the man who did it, this man is a criminal and deserves to be punished just as much as the man who killed his son. The man in the chair says he never killed children or beat women. Archer, of course, only signed on because he wanted to punish the man who took his son from him. He's not okay with being executioner for anyone else. He releases the man, who then hobbles over to a section of wall, knocking on it, suggesting there is a way to escape if they break through the wall. Archer gets the sledge hammer and starts whacking the wall. The doctor says that the men from the clandestine vigilante organization will arrive shortly, and they will not allow Archer or the man to get out alive.

So, Archer and the chair-man start their escape, hearing shots on the room behind them which they are sure is the organization killing the doctor. The next big chunk of the movie, is the two men trying to escape from the pursuing organization of masked men who needs them dead. Although Archer knows this man didn't kill his son, he also knows he's a criminal who probably killed SOMEbody...maybe lots of somebodys. Yet, they are forced to be allies to save their own lives. They do finally make it out, discovering one of the masked men to be the doctor himself. Archer cannot kill him, though he tries to pull the trigger. He says, "I can't kill you. You're already dead." The Chairman (hehe) does the honors, since it's obvious that the only way they will both continue to survive is if all the members of that small organization are dead.

The fait accompli comes in a tag scene where the Chairman opens the trunk of a car, and we see a bound man there, and the tattoo on his arm. This is the man who killed Archer's son. We watch as the Chairman fills him with a few bullets, and closes the trunk.

Overall, quite an engaging movie, and a peek into still another dark corner of the human psyche as well as the often nebulous region of right and wrong.

Movie Review: Already Dead