Lesbian films

One of my biggest peeves is that the films about lesbians are not held to the same standards as other films, probably because their target audience is so hungry to see stories about something they can relate to on a sexual orientation level. However, this should never be a reason to call a film good when it simply isn't.

And Then Came Lola is an example of that. No character development, a plot that is meaningless, situations that are contrived, and a story that was interspersed with some cartoon interludes that were unnecessary, incongruous and distracting. Some of the actresses were decent in their craft, which I think would be even better if they had good material to work with. And of course, most of them were easy on the eyes (three of them, my particular favorite types) but that's about as much as i can say for this film. Overall, it was a grand disappointment.

Same goes for another crop I saw recently, most of which I couldn't bear to watch all the way through. 

Mango Kiss was so stereotypical, as to be insulting--as if it had been made for straight people with certain rigid ideas about how gay women are, what their lifestyle is like, and that everyone who is gay is either deviant, addicted, dishonest or mentally ill. I Can't Think Straight had me thinking straight enough that I would rather have watched all straight characters in just about any other movie, than another second of this one. Boring from the first moment.

I have seen a few that were good--I enjoyed Desert Hearts, Better Than Chocolate, and Puccini for Beginners. But there are some films touted in the gay community as favorites, which I fail to understand;  like Claire of the Moon and High Art. I thought both of those movies were horrid. It's no wonder there are so many people in our society who shun the gay community. Even our creative self-representations can be overtly negative and even repulsive. Now, while I freely admit I haven't seen every lesbian film ever made, this is largely because I lost interest in them for the very reasons I mention here. This is one of the reasons I became a novelist--the same had been true of lesbian fiction, and I finally decided if I wanted to read the type of story that represented me as a gay woman, and made me feel good about it, I'd have to write it myself.

Lesbian films

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

[this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose...and it's usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so...here we go....


I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, "No you're not...you're just rare and wonderful." Like a good steak. So I'm only good for a food source.

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. I have three (cats, not food cans...this is The Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit). I might have a chance to avoid that fate, because one of my cats, Monkey, happens to be polydactyl--she has 22 fingers--to include thumbs. As in Opposable Thumbs. A higher life form. Who can, perhaps, manipulate things like can openers.

If I am lucky enough to avoid the death-by-cat-consumption, it's a distinct possibility that I might be ostracized by my community...I keep waiting for a bunch of torch-carrying village people to come get me...I don't mean VILLAGE PEOPLE...like [singing] Yyyyyyy--M--C--Aaaaaa. I don't know what those guys might carry. KY, perhaps [singing: Kaaaaaay---yyy-------] okay, not enough letters for that to fit the timing of the song.... Anyway, no, Not Village People, Villagers. Torch-carrying Villagers. Hillary Clinton said it takes a village. But nothing is said of the Villagers themselves. Do they all carry torches? Or just the ones who are intolerant pyromaniacs?

I have been guilty of intolerance myself, when it's warranted. But I don't pursue pariahs with a burning torch in my hand. I can live vicariously through books and movies. Though, perhaps my reticence to be part of the torching mob is because I don't much like horror movies. Like, Nightmare on the Village People Street. Must be about hate crimes, not sure.

I just finished reviewing that horror flick, The Descent, and I liked it in spite of its horribleness, though I didn't envy those women who had to defend themselves against subterranean carnivorous humanoids. I usually enjoy tamer fare. Like Sleepless in Seattle, or You've Got Mail.


Speaking of which, I just got some mail that made my day. It was a gadget called the Eroscillator. I've asked it to marry me. I told my best friend about it, but she wasn't quite clear what eroscillating might be. She said, "Is it like an oscillating heater?"

"Well, maybe more like an Oscillating Peter. But yeah, it does create some heat."


Oscillating Peter sounds like a Sundance film. 'Oscillating Peter...coming to a theater near you.'

I don't think I want an Oscillating Peter in a theater near me.

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys

[this is a writing exercise I do, wherein I take a list of unrelated subjects and phrases in my files (or through suggestions from readers) and try to connect them in prose...and it's usually humorous. It also teaches you how to construct segues. The items in this list are, Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys.] so...here we go....


I am a pariah. I know this, though the usual response from my friends to this proclamation is a dismissive, "No you're not...you're just rare and wonderful." Like a good steak. So I'm only good for a food source.

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. I have three (cats, not food cans...this is The Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit). I might have a chance to avoid that fate, because one of my cats, Monkey, happens to be polydactyl--she has 22 fingers--to include thumbs. As in Opposable Thumbs. A higher life form. Who can, perhaps, manipulate things like can openers.

If I am lucky enough to avoid the death-by-cat-consumption, it's a distinct possibility that I might be ostracized by my community...I keep waiting for a bunch of torch-carrying village people to come get me...I don't mean VILLAGE PEOPLE...like [singing] Yyyyyyy--M--C--Aaaaaa. I don't know what those guys might carry. KY, perhaps [singing: Kaaaaaay---yyy-------] okay, not enough letters for that to fit the timing of the song.... Anyway, no, Not Village People, Villagers. Torch-carrying Villagers. Hillary Clinton said it takes a village. But nothing is said of the Villagers themselves. Do they all carry torches? Or just the ones who are intolerant pyromaniacs?

I have been guilty of intolerance myself, when it's warranted. But I don't pursue pariahs with a burning torch in my hand. I can live vicariously through books and movies. Though, perhaps my reticence to be part of the torching mob is because I don't much like horror movies. Like, Nightmare on the Village People Street. Must be about hate crimes, not sure.

I just finished reviewing that horror flick, The Descent, and I liked it in spite of its horribleness, though I didn't envy those women who had to defend themselves against subterranean carnivorous humanoids. I usually enjoy tamer fare. Like Sleepless in Seattle, or You've Got Mail.

Speaking of which, I just got some mail that made my day. It was a gadget called the Eroscillator. I've asked it to marry me. I told my best friend about it, but she wasn't quite clear what eroscillating might be. She said, "Is it like an oscillating heater?"

"Well, maybe more like an Oscillating Peter. But yeah, it does create some heat."

Oscillating Peter sounds like a Sundance film. 'Oscillating Peter...coming to a theater near you.'

I don't think I want an Oscillating Peter in a theater near me.

Witty Segues: Pariahs, Torches, Movies & Sex Toys