All Hallows Eve

The prevalence of pumpkin-faced bags
filled with papers or leaves
peppers the yards in my neighborhood
preparing for All Hallow's Eve.

And in some windows are jack o'lanterns
imbued with a candle's light
their eyes and nose and mouth cut out
into faces of the night.

On a nearby lawn, a plastic image:
A specter of spider's stance,
its legs perched horribly round its frame
deterring a second glance.

And crispy leaves made crunky
by the cold October rains
mix and mesh in a potpourri
filling the air with champagne.

And soon, the night will tremble
With pleas for doorway treats
Goblins will gobble them up with delight
While devils play tricks in the streets..

All Hallows Eve

Tryst

An old friend and previous Tryst visted me recently. We had met in the Army years ago, and had a little fling, although it was a bit one-sided, as these things will be when one person is gay and the other gay-curious...but we maintained a long distance friendship over the years and even had a few visits with each other....some of them included sexual activity...I had always had a mad crush on her. She was so alluring...sort of unattainable, and a hell-cat, but so sexy to me.

Well, during her recent visit, we got along great, and did alot of talking and drinking coffee...we always do that. It seemed like we'd just seen each other last week or something. We can always sorta pick up where we left off. But during our talks, i was trying to get information about where she was mentally in our relational dynamic...were we still Tryst-partners? or just friends?

I steered the discussion toward sex and relationships. It was hard to tell, because she'd say one thing that led me to believe she was not interested in doing ANYTHING with me, and then she'd say or do other things that contradicted it. Mostly, it was the words not matching the body language.

But by Saturday, i had given it lots of thought, and sorta OVERLAYED my newest beliefs and growths over that old pattern of the "me and Brittany" map...and i decided that it was much more important to me that we have a strong friendship, and that i wouldn't want to undermine it by having EXPECTATIONS...and i tried to get real honest with myself about that. I decided to let go of the expectations.... and i did. It felt good.

Then that night (or wee hours, actually) i was spreading out my sheet on the sofa, and she said, "You know, Jae, you don't have to sleep in there on that tiny little couch. You can sleep in here with me." But she said it in a very platonic fashion, so i knew she was just being nice.

I teased, "Are you sure you're not askeert a me??"

She rolled her eyes. "You don't frighten me, Jae."

I said in mock disappointment, "Dammit."

So we got in the bed, shoulder to shoulder, both of us reading in the lamplight...and she put her book away and rolled over, saying "Nite." I told her goodnight, and continued to read for a while...then i got sleepy and turned the light out and went to sleep..... ....in my sleep, i became aware of my name..."Jae...Jae.... Jaaaaaaaaee......"

I opened my eyes and she was looking at me, lying on her side, her head propped on one elbow...."I've been calling your name forever..."

I was so groggy, and just as i wondered what time it was, she said, as if she could read my thoughts, "It's 3:10." I sort of frowned at her, like...don't freak me out.
She just smiled..."I need to talk to you..." It was dim in the room, but as i tried to wake myself up, i just noticed how beautiful she looked with that new red hair, her face softened by night.

"Okay," i said, trying to clear my vision. I put some drops in my eyes, and pressed the edge of the sheet to them to absorb the excess moisture that spilled out. A little refreshed, i said, "I'm still a bit groggy, but what do you want to talk to me about?"

She said, "You've only been asleep about a MINUTE!" I couldn't believe that, but i guess it was true. I must have gone straight to REM...

So i said, "So talk."

"I've been thinking. I'd like to take you up on your offer..."

Now, my heart jumped, and i began to frantically search through the fog of my brain for just WHICH offer she may be referring to...

She interrupted my scavenger hunt with, "--you know, i've known you for ten years, and in all that time, you've always been a great friend to me, above and beyond...and you've always treated me with respect and love...I mean, if i can't trust YOU, who can i trust?"

As i was spreading glue on all the pieces of this, attempting to press and hold until it all became one piece...she leaned down and kissed me. I was shocked, because she had never been that aggressive with me...

She leaned back and said, "Are you awake, NOW?"

laughed, and sputtered, "Um...yes...i do believe i am getting there quickly...." Yeah, like the spray of a water hose on you while you're standing in snow. Of course, my brain was still fuzzy, but all the other important parts were wide awake...i think actually that my brain was in shock, but my body completely understood...

So i kissed her back, and she kissed me back, and we kissed each other back and back... ;> And i turned her to her back... ;>

Without getting into the lurid details, it was clear that her barriers were not quite so strong as they used to be...And afterward, she held me and kissed me, and we fell asleep feeling intimate...at least i did.

I brought her coffee in bed the next morning, and went to check email while she woke up. We didn't speak of it the next day, and she went back home that afternoon. But she left looking happy and satisfied. That was enough for me.

Tryst

Morphing CD Player, 22 Dogs, 6 Girls, & A Pig

Dream:
I was at somebody's house. The rooms in this house were large and open-like there were no walls separating them. I noticed how many dogs were running around, and i began to go from room to room counting dogs. I counted up to 22. There was also a big pig walking around. Obviously a pet, but very odd. A bunch of girls living there-maybe 5 or 6...

In the main room, there was this odd sort of contraption which at first was just a CD player, and while I was doing something next to it, I bumped some kind of "On" switch. The contraption began to morph into several other shapes, becoming larger. I was trying to stay out of the way of it. The effect was like computer generated graphics from a movie...Then it began to play a CD, and then became a coffee table. An ashtray rose up out of it, and some drink coasters.

Then from underneath, it released these little disc-shaped vacuums that went about the floor sucking up dropped ashes, debris and dirt. (I swear to God this was before that commercial about the Roomba FloorVac) The discs had tiny radio antennas on top in the middle. They looked like little fat, black frisbees. This is when i understood why this house could have 22 dogs and 6 girls and a big pig.

Morphing CD Player, 22 Dogs, 6 Girls, & A Pig

Ema's Sense of Smell

My girlfriend, Emma, has recently discovered the power of her own gift of intuition. She's a baby- psychic, really. She also has an uncanny sense of smell. Once when we were getting in my van, she sniffed the air like a bloodhound and said, "Someone just lit a cigarette--" and then frowned over at me, since I'm a smoker and she's not, and we always go round and round about it. It wasn't me, and I accused her of being so sensitive, that she imagines things.

Well, we pulled away from the curb, and around the corner. And there stood a young man puffing away. She looked over at me victoriously, and I could only shake my head. Scary, really, these visions of things and people and objects that prove accurate. At night while she's falling asleep, she has graphic images of snakes and big rocks falling on her head. This sounds like the sort of images I should be having, but I digress...

Ema's Sense of Smell