Hillary for President.....in 2012

I would vote for Hillary. But I am convinced she won't win. As a matter of principal, i might vote for her, even knowing that, just to send the message. But i am fearful that it won't matter, especially if Bush's cronies have access to the machines again. Even though i believe Hillary Clinton is qualified, capable and would do great things for this country, I don't think this society is ready for a female president. I'm ready for one, but i don't think John Q. Public is.

Hillary's path to the White House (or should i say, "Back" to the White House) must be predicated on her presence in the administration as a Second in Command, or in some other high profile position, first. I think the wise path for her would be to throw her support behind a qualified, Caucasian man, with the understanding that she would be chosen as V.P. after he is the Democratic candidate. Then the voting public will see her as qualified, on her own merit, rather than as an extension of Bill, who was the victim of a republican smear campaign. (all that is for another blog--i still believe that Bill Clinton was the best president in a long long time, notwithstanding his personal issues which should have remained personal).

Every campaign peppers the media with slogans such as "it's time for a change" or "it's time for a new direction." But it was never more cogent than it is right now. With catastrophic climate change on the horizon, the need for change is only th tip of the iceberg (pun intended). With nations warring with each other and the threats of unrest and annihilation in our midst; with Americans fighting for their right to have employment in their own homeland, amid infiltration from outsiders; and with health care, education and personal safety continuing issues that are ignored, change is indeed what we need. Real change. Not the usual rusty cogs of the good-old-boy network, and most assuredly not the partisanship and petty mudslinging and outmoded electoral college and electronic voting machines that are far too easily manipulated. We've been a patriarchy long enough. Viva la matriarchy!

Hillary for President.....in 2012

Truth or Consequences

When it comes to lasting relationships with people in your life, I guess it might all come down to two things: Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? I can, without hesitation, say that being happy

The next question becomes: can I be happy with the way things are right now, and with the way another person in my life is right now, warts and all? That answer remains to be seen and might take a little more time.

The thing is, after 8 years of college and some pretty hard knocks, I'd like to think that education counts for something. If it doesn't then I might as well have skipped the whole thing and just done drugs and partied and had lots of meaningless sex. Yeah, that would have been the school of life, but would it have given me a healthy view of the world and my place in it? Would it have helped make me the best person i could be? Would it have provided me with happiness and contentment and a sense of well-being? Would it have taught me how to have healthy relationships? Part of me thinks that the answer to that is a resounding "No"--so what am I left with? A compromise? a total denial? Perhaps honoring my own truths while allowing the truths of others?

It is a myth that one answer is the only answer and that one truth is the only truth. The only solution then, must be that compromise can be beneficial, and acknowledgment of our own tenuous grip on reality is only as real as we believe it to be.

Truth or Consequences

Heavy Sigh

It's kind of rare for me to be in a funk these days but that's where I am. We have a president who took the office by dishonest means, and is pissing off every other country in the world with his war and his bully mentality, and I fear that we will all be blown off the face of the earth before it's over.

I have just completed several books and am now in this dry spell where I don’t want to do anything. I don't feel well, and am tired all the time. I feel this cloying fear all the time, that I am somehow running out of time to have the life I want while I can still enjoy it. I don’t want to be single—I hate it. But I also know that I am way too aware of what I require in order to live that life I want. I cannot pretend I don’t' know that. And I can't compromise on most of it, because it's now about who I am, and what's important to me.

I continue to be chagrined and disgusted and disheartened by the choices out there in the dating and romance area, and know that I am not helping matters by this tendency I have to have sex when I'm not attracted, nor in love. I must make myself stop that. I think I finally can now, because I'm so tired of the dance. My need for intimacy, I know, stems from my disinterest in pleasing myself, sexually. I need another person in order to feel anything. And yet, I don't feel that much when I'm with those I have no feelings for. So it all becomes an empty experience over all. I'm sure it has something to do with those needed brain chemicals--if they aren't engaged, the libido just stays bored. . .all the more reason why I need a rich relationship that gives me a balance of things, so I can engage those sensations that we all like so much.

And then there are the sheer numbers of women out there who are liars, imbeciles, or emotional cripples—it's hugely depressing. Even the ones who are somewhat normal and decent of character, always seem to have some desperation about them—a desperation that will make them turn themselves over to me, in order to win me over. And none of them have problems with self-gratification, so I know it's for other reasons. They are so desperate for a mate that they will compromise almost anything if they think I might be interested in them as a partner.

My situation does not lend itself to finding the right partner either. I am isolated here and the only choices are ones I will not make. This entire region is fraught with bubba's, dykes, low-brow mentality women who have little to offer me. Since I don't partake of mainstream religion, I can't meet anyone at religious functions, I'm done with school, don't have co-workers, and any other usual method of meeting someone is also not available to me. So I wind up dealing with the internet. Yet I still find the same types there. I hope that somehow fate will see fit to send someone my way who will be just what I need. I've been trying to manifest that in many ways, but am losing my motivation swiftly. I must find a way to accept the possibility that I will remain alone, and I have to find a way to be okay with that. I don't know how I'm going to do it.

Heavy Sigh