18 July 2010

Lemony Snicket Rides Again

 I'm making a late-night trip back to my apartment to pack some more and bring a few more things back for storage. I had been a little stressed throughout the day, since my bank account had been hacked for the second time, and they were sending me still another new Debit card. Meanwhile, the transfer of funds to my PayPal account was still pending, and I couldn't use it as it was, because the back up funding was still set for the previous account number. To make matters worse, the temporary ATM card from last time was useless, as I could not recall the temporary pass code, and it was Saturday night, and the bank would also be closed Sunday. Essentially, I had no access to my own money. But I knew that getting something accomplished always made me feel better, and I'm not good at huge transitions wherein everything in my life changes all at once. My girl was still tired and not feeling well, so she stayed, but bless her, handed me her card so I could get gas. My Cherryot was running on fumes. She understood that I had to be productive or I'd lose my mind.

So off I went, hoping to get a little closer to being moved completely out of the apartment by the end of the month, without the stress of doing it at the last minute, as I usually have done.

When i drive at night in new areas, I often suffer from Directional Dyslexia. Instead of turning right, i turn left, and wind up having to begrudgingly check my GPS, only to see the little blue dot
that is me, heading in the wrong direction. So last night, I realized this was just what i had done, and that section of the city was almost void of traffic. I pulled off to a side street and stopped to check my GPS, and then made the turn around back in the other direction, still worrying that I wouldn't find a gas station before I got myself stranded with an empty tank.

Ever have one of those days that just seem ripe for disaster? Too many things going wrong, and this generalized sense that the Universe is not on your side? Well, this sensation kicked into gear about the time I pulled over to see if a particular gas station was still open. The store looked closed, but the gas pumps were on. About that time, I saw the blue lights flashing in my rear view.

No way. What could this lawman possibly want? I've always prided myself on being a law abiding citizen, so wasn't sure what this stop was about.

Like the conscientious citizen I am, i placed both my hands on the steering wheel and waited. He flooded my vehicle with the spotlight and then made sure he hit me in the eyes with his maglight, for good measure.

"I stopped you because you pulled off the road and weren't in a parking space..."
Weren't in a parking space?
"...and you didn't use your turn signal when you made that U-turn."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I just moved here, and was lost and checking the GPS on my phone."
"And you're not supposed to be looking at your phone."
As respectfully as i could, i said. "That's why i pulled over. So I could look at it safely."
"Well, you weren't in a proper place to park."
Now, remember, this street was deserted and there were no cars.
" And you didn't use your turn signal."
"Who would I be signaling to, officer?"
I don't think he liked that, so I tried not to argue the point further. "Look. I'm sorry, there was no one around, and I was just trying to get my bearings. I'm running on fumes and need to find a gas station...I'm sure you can appreciate how scary that can be for a woman alone..."
He apparently couldn't appreciate it, and asked for my driver's license, insurance and registration. I obliged and handed him the documents. I still had my Arkansas Drivers' license. "How long have you been in Colorado?"
"About a year."
"Where do you live?"
I gave him the information about where I was moving from and where i was moving to. He said to stay put, and he'd be right back. I guess he thought he was going to find some warrant or something.

While I waited, I texted my girlfriend, D., and told her what was happening. She advised me to give him a sob story about being lost and new in town. I told her i already tried that and he wasn't biting.

He came back and announced that he was going to give me a break. He could give me two tickets for not using my blinker, twice, and one for an out of state driver's license. I told him I had not switched it over yet. He said I had 30 days to do that in Colorado. I told him I didn't realize that; it was still a valid license, and hadn't expired, so I hadn't done it yet. He reiterated that I had 30 days. So he could have given me a ticket for that. But because he was such a peach, he would only cite me for not using my turn signal.

I'm thinking, really? you have nothing better to do than this? A deserted street where one lone car didn't signal, and a person moving to the area and out of gas, and trying to find a gas station while she was lost? Isn't there a meth lab you can raid or something?

He was haughty and unsympathetic. I decided against telling him he was a dick, and just took the citation. "I'm still looking for a gas station...."
He pointed. "We're in the parking lot of one."
I said, ignoring his condescending tone, "It looks closed to me."
"The pumps are still open, if you have a card."
"Oh." I wasn't aware that this was something available to me. Good thing I had Officer Feel-Good to fill me in. He handed me the citation and said goodnight. I wanted to smack him. No oh, could you use some help finding your way? No Well, I-25 is that way, and there's a gas station right over there, and I'm just going to let you off with a warning, and you be careful about using your blinker from now on? To me, it just seems overkill. Like these types are bored, and full of their own authority. One of my bigger irritants.

So I pull over to the gas pump of the closed station, and put in the card that my girlfriend gave me. I had a hard time seeing the display and had to use a flashlight. The pump started and I
inserted the nozzle and began to pump, but the handle kept clicking off. I'd get a cent in there and it would stop. Another cent, and it would stop. I got up to ten cents before i said fuck it, and replaced the nozzle in the cradle, and moved the Cherryot around to another pump. That's when i saw the guy staggering across the street from the bar, heading for me. Don't come over here, don't come over here, i chanted in my mind. But he continued in my direction. So i leaned into the cab and retrieved my trusty .25 automatic and slipped it in my pocket. When he came too close, I said. "Don't come near me," with my hand on the gun in my pocket. He stood staring at me for a moment and i wasn't sure how this was going to play out. Would i have to pull the gun out, and then about that time Officer Feel Good would drive by, and see it, and I'd be in big trouble for having a gun? Even though, again, I was a woman alone in a dark part of town, with no one within earshot. But the drunk wandered off, and so I was relieved that I could move my vehicle over to another pump.

Guess what? that pump had the same affliction. So with 13 cents in my empty tank, I cursed my
way back into the Cherryot, and headed back down the street toward what i hoped would be an open gas station with working pumps. A few blocks later, I saw a Shamrock station and pulled in, got gas in the normal way, and things seemed okay as I was replacing my gas cap. That's when i noticed the big black guy coming toward me. He was saying "I know you don't know me, but--" I didn't need to hear any more. I just got in the Cherryot, closed the door, clicked the locks and pulled away. The guy RUNS around the pumps to block my exit, screaming obscenities at me. I had to swerve to miss him, and circled out of the lot, checking my side mirror and noticing that my gas tank door was still open. I hoped I had put the gas cap back on securely, and was thankful that the timing didn't force me to drive away with the nozzle still in my tank. 

So yeah, it could have been worse. I made a circle down a back street for good measure, in case he was following me in his vehicle, if he had one nearby. I headed down the main drag for a while until I found  still another gas station and I just parked to the side, stressed. Just then two police cars shot in and stopped and I had all kinds of tragic fantasies about that. They went inside as I imagined that this station was probably being robbed, and I would be a victim of crossfire. Things looked quiet enough, and so i just sat there for a minute and took a breath.

I called D. again and filled her in on what had happened. I was thinking i shouldn't go to
Lakewood this night. things were just out of sync and i felt something bad might happen. 

That's when D. said, "You know, Baby, maybe you should just come home--" I told her i was just thinking the same thing. This was not a night i needed to be driving around. It would probably be wise for me to just take all these signs as warnings, and just avoid tempting fate.

So I told her I was coming home. I checked my map again, and headed to the house.

When i got there, i had a beer, and got some supportive cuddles from my girl. My need to be productive could wait another day.


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