I have horrible cramps. A little behorned cleated demon is kicking the crap out of my ovaries...
Oh it's so hard to be female sometimes...
I could run a hot bath and get in to soothe my horrible cramps.
I can see it now...I'd get all settled and then reach for the soap and realize it's up on the hangy thing, and I'd have to stand up to get it at which time the giant squids would fall out of me, and turn the water pink. I'd then have to drain the water because i don't want to soak in pink squid water.
Then I'd have a fresh tub of water, soap in hand, maybe play with a little boat in the tub, like i did when i was a kid...That's when the Xenical "side effects" would kick in...bubble bubble... isn't it funny: the idea of passing wind under WATER?
Then the little boat could be the Exxon Valdez...in the oil slick... except the oil slick looks like Catalina dressing. So i could throw a lettuce leaf in there, put some teeny little illegal immigrants on the lettuce, "Save us! save us! Mr. Exxon Valdez Captain, save us from the Catlina dressing ocean and pluck us from the lettuce boat so we can live among the land of the free, the home of the brave."
I'm convinced that hormones can cause mental illness.
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