Cherryot Gymnastics

Storage trip update from Saturday.

So, I'm standing on top of my Cherryot, ¹ applying bungees to things I wish I didn't own, and I'm being careful to step only on the reinforced areas of the roof, and avoid the sunroof entirely, when my foot slipped.

Now, I was wearing my Sketchers which are really comfortable to take my nightly walks in. But I discovered, rudely, that they don't have um...much...traction. At least not on top of the Cherryot.

So in that surreal, slow-motion movie moment kind of way, I began to fall, feet first, sliding down the side...not so bad, really. I could have slipped and fallen backward and landed on my back. So As my feet are striking the ground, i am at the wrong angle, and I just lunge forward...not in a dive-roll, like I did that time in Colorado Springs 8 years ago, on my apartment stairs...that was truly inspired, and of Olympic quality---no, this fall was awkward. I landed on my feet first, then my knees and hands...skidding ever so slightly.

You want to know the first thing i thought after that? I mean, I was feeling pain already, and I had just recovered from a ruptured disc in my neck a few short months ago...but you know what my first thought was?

I hope no one saw that.

(My friend Tanya said that's called "Pride goeth AFTER a fall.")

I actually looked around quickly to see if anyone was about. I would have bled a few extra drops, just so I could take the time to make sure no one saw me do something so patently ungraceful.

The second thing i did was assess the damage. After realizing I could still stand up and was mobile, the next thing i noticed was that I had a nasty splinter in my fuck-you finger. I don't know when that happened.

I went back to work on storage, but knew that i was done for the day. I had to wrap it all up and come back later to do anything i was planning to do then.

So when I finally got home, I groaned my way out of the Cherryot, knowing I was not going to unload that stuff this time. It could wait until tomorrow. My joints and muscles hurt more than the minor scrapes to my knees and palms. I was just going to stick a French Bread pizza in the oven, take a hot shower and ibuprofen, put peroxide and triple antibiotic on my wounds, wrap up my wrists for support, ice my back, and just lie down and read.

And that's what I did.

Until now, of course, when i could no longer resist coming over here and writing something.

__________________________
¹ the nickname i gave my red Blazer

Cherryot Gymnastics

Bettered by a Dead Crustacean

A new Chinese restaurant opened up on Holiday Island, and they served all you can eat crab legs. So my best friend, Justi, thought of me (bless her). I went down to have the last of two visits with her before i move. I love crab legs, but rarely find it all-you-can-eat for around $12.

So I was all about it.

Problem is, I usually get hurt.

Is it just me, or do you really feel like you've earned it when you get that delicious meat out of the shell? I am usually bleeding before I'm done. I know the picture doesn't look all that bad, but that was 5 days after the injury. A crab-cut hurts like hell when it's in the fold of your finger. Got one on my thumb too. It did cause me some consternation that I was bettered by a dead crustacean, but I guess I'll get over it.

But the process hearkens back to the old days when people had to get their food from the source. It's the closest I'll come to hunting, i suppose. You'll notice in the photo that it takes two big strong, color-coordinated men to hold this crab. I don't feel so fragile, now. (And I bet they were embarrassed when they showed up for work wearing the same outfit).

Crabs are arthropods, which means they have segmented appendages. I guess I'm an arthropod,
too, then. I got the cut in one of the creases of my appendage.

Crabs are also decapods, meaning that have ten legs. I am not a decopod, though that might be fun....(now I'll probably have a nightmare tonight. Me, with ten legs, running down the street screaming that my appendages are bleeding...) Anyway...

Crabs are also crustaceans, and I am not a crustacean, either....I can't imagine having an exoskeleton. How would you like to have your skeleton on the outside instead of the inside? I suppose it would be easier to spot a broken bone. But...really quite strange when you think about it.

Worldwide, humans eat over one and a half million tons of crab. Two or three ounces of crab meat will supply a whole days' worth of vitamin B-12



I wonder who was the first person to look at the bony, spidery, horror-movie-type creature and think,

"Man I bet that tastes good" ?

I mean really.

Even crazier, is the fact that I have a healthy repulsion and fear of spiders.

And crab--they look like spiders.

And YET...

I EAT THEIR LEGS
and go nom nom nom.

How sick is that?

Bettered by a Dead Crustacean

Herniated Disco: Motivations & Ruminations

Tried to stay positive today but had a hard time. A long-time fear which has simmered on the back burner for some time, is now moving toward the front burner. I was thinking about what it might mean...this situation...I intend to do wholeheartedly, start to finish, the steps outlined in the book by Dr. Daulton, when I have all the "ingredients" in place, but if the methods don't ultimately heal me, then what? I had this sort of sick feeling every time i thought about surgery. I don't know if it's just my inherent fear of surgery, in and of itself, or if it's an intuitive warning. I just cannot see how it would be a good decision because what i would deal with after that (and before/during) would more than likely cause even more problems and deny me any quality of life; whereas with the more natural approach, i at least have a chance at regaining some pain-free mobility, even if it takes longer than normal. Maybe it will even take 6 months. A year. I would still do it, because in the long run it's better for me. And all this will likely push the move to farther in the future, which makes it doubly frustrating since everything I've tried to do to make the relocation happen has failed.

But the deeper issue is about pain and immobility. If I am in moderate to severe to unbearable pain all the time during this process, then this is obviously a huge obstacle. Though it would seem I can still write and do my computer-oriented tasks, and lie down whenever i need to...I would not be able to write at my desk, or shop, or clean the litter boxes, etc., because these things make the pain worse, and pain medication might help, but it renders me incapable of driving or even functioning well; to say nothing of the specter of becoming dependent on it, and it endangering my organs eventually. How long would i be able to hold out if I continued to have severe pain? How long before I would just want the pain to end-- Once and for all?

When I think of how dismal my immediate and near future might be, I am then flung into despair, and more fear, and stress. I have so many things i want to do, see, experience; so many more books to write, art to create, music to record, friends to make and ultimately, dating and partnership. All the things that make my life worth living. How long before that pain and suffering leads me to desperate acts? How long before I am begging to make a deal with the devil? Unfortunately, I don't believe in the devil, so once again, it's an option that does not exist.

I suppose it makes little sense to be afraid of death. Death is the Grand Oblivion. To reach it means to reach perfect nothingness. What i am really afraid of is suffering. And, perhaps oddly, I'm also profoundly afraid that my life will be cut short or damaged to the point where I will not get to have those things I have sought for so long; ego aside, it would be tragic for me to be prevented from reaching my goals. I have so much to give. My creative endeavors are the closest thing to a purpose I have. What about all those unfinished manuscripts, unwritten songs or recordings, unpainted pictures, unmolded sculptures? What about all the valuable lessons I have learned, the wisdom I have accumulated? What good does it do anyone else, if it isn't ever shared? So death or incapacitation seems more fairly visited upon those who contribute nothing, or those who contribute evil in any of its forms. But this would imply that Life is fair. And most adults understand that fairness is not something Life offers us. I am far more rooted in the NOW than ever before, since releasing my hold on religion and belief in any gods. This makes my life even more precious. I don't have that false reassurance that I will either be rewarded or offered a better life next time. This life is all I have.

My spirits got a much needed boost by--of all things--going shopping. Bought mini trampoline and therapy ball for the Daulton program, and groceries, *ibuprofen,* *shiatsu neck Massager,* etc. But the boost came when I realized throughout my shopping, that the usual nerve pain didn't appear. In fact, there was little difference between how i felt when i went in and how i felt when i came out. Even carried in all the perishables, and put them away and STILL didn't feel worse. This is encouraging. Since i know the nerve pain comes from impingement, I am a little excited that maybe the impingement has either worked away from the prolapse, or the prolapse has shrunk a bit.

Herniated Disco: Motivations & Ruminations