03 June 2009

Shopping for Banishment


My friend Georgie said, "I thought about you in HEB the other night -- shopping with you. Made myself giggle."

"Oh I'm sure we'd get kicked out of a store."

"Just a little kick."

"No, banished."

"
Why?"

"Because I tend to steal other people's shopping carts, after they've filled them up and then I argue with them--that they haven't paid for it yet, it's not theirs, and I like it, so I'm taking it."

She's laughing.

"But I haven't done that in a long time," I added.

"I'm gonna have to wear some Depends," Georgie said.

"Yeah! Maybe I'll steal a cart with those in it...although, I don't usually terrorize old people, or the incontinent."

"Stop! I almost choked--"

Now I'm laughing at her.

She
started name-calling: "REtard." And then, provided a visual: "Cottage cheese curds sweeping down my wind pipe..."

"Well you've got to get your calcium somehow."



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