Your ex calls wanting to hangout, what do you say?
By ex, i will assume you mean, ones I had a relationship with for longer than a year. Depends on who it is. Although, I have to say there are few with whom i would like to hang out...maybe the first one, but don't see her calling after all these years...I quite thoroughly broke her heart...but i would hang out with her if she did call....and the 4th one...the one who started as girlfriend, and wound up being my best friend.
What do you think about sex before marriage?
This is fast becoming a stance embraced by only ultra conservative fundies who think that purity is more important than sound long-term decision making....While I appreciate the value of getting to know someone on the levels OTHER than sexual, I'm of the mind that you don't buy a car until you test-drive it. Sexual compatibility is CRUCIAL to the health of a relationship. As long as everyone is being safe, I'm all for the lovemaking without commitment. And the wild monkey sex, of course. That's always fun.
Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
NO. And i wish I had never opened up that can of worms. Isn't that a pleasant image? kissing, and worms? That might be a great line for a gangster movie: "Hand over the money, or you'll be kissing worms."
Did your last kiss take place on a bed?
Yes. Because I have a sneeby foamy bed that sucks people in. It's sort of like the Hotel California Bed. Women check in but they don't check out. With or without dark desert highways & cool wind in my hair.
Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
No, i think she just wanted a Free Ride on a Lesbian. That's not okay with me anymore. No more free rides. You have to FIRST be a lesbian, or I'm not letting your lips anywhere near me.
Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
I'd miss it, but it's not crucial to my happiness. I just know this is a moot point, since drinking has never been an issue for me, so I won't need to make a choice to stop it.
You think anyone's thinking about you right now?
I'd like to think that several people are thinking of me occasionally. But only good thoughts. Though that might be too much to hope for, since I've coupled worms and kissing, cut off the free-riders and don't have a drinking problem.
What are some things that you have to have everywhere you go?
Electronic cigarette, Sunglasses, Coach purse (with its contents), keys, iPhone.
Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?
Not just anyone. Wit and sarcasm are big smile-makers with me. Or sweetness.
Is your room ever clean?
Do most people only have "rooms"? Um...it is usually tidy enough for me, but completely presentable if someone might see it...hard to say..I feel i have been living in a storage room for the last few months. Only now assessing what i will need to do to actually create "decor." But i PREFER tidy and organized. I just have to choose between that and some other priorities sometimes. Anyone who knows me knows that the two most important rooms to keep clean at all times is the bathroom and the kitchen.
How often do you give out second chances?
Often, it depends on the nature and severity of the thing....While some things i feel are immediately unforgivable, If i feel the person is genuinely sorry for whatever other transgression they perpetrated, and, perhaps more importantly, they UNDERSTAND why it was not acceptable, then yes. But not endlessly. I can put up with a lot if i feel someone is being real. But ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that if this is a repeat performance for too long, I get out my big eraser. My energy is better spent on other things and people that are beneficial to my well-being.
Is there anyone you wish you could be spending time with right now?
Yes. My closest friends, who are now far away, ironically.
If you could change your eye color would you?
No. I like having gray eyes. But they are sensitive to light. Still,no complaints about them. Ask me if there's anything else i would change about my physical self, and you'll get a list.
Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
uh--NO. Why would I do something voluntarily that has historically been used as a torture method?
Did you sleep alone last night?
I don't really have a "last night"--I have a sleep disorder (DSPS) and sometimes it's been in 4 hour increments, when i feel myself crashing...and yes, i slept alone, unless you count my cats. I hope that paradigm changes REALLY soon. I'm kind of tired of having that empty space on the other side of my bed.
Has a boy/girl ever called you babe/baby?
Sure. It seems to be reserved for romantic partners, though. I am always open to some new endearment, though. I have a favorite, and hope to hear it in the near future. This one tends to melt me. But you can't ever tell someone you like it because then they won't be genuine, and it would be only to ply you or please you...though plying and pleasing isn't something I ever AVOID....it just means more if it's spontaneous.
What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship?
Already happened. I thought the transfer of LOVE was a little fast from me to the other. Especially after she said it was going to take such a long time to get over me. Pffft!
Was your last kiss with the opposite or same gender?
Same. I don't kiss boys. Unless you give me a million dollars. Then i will kiss a boy. Maybe twice for that price. Okay, I'd probably do quite a bit more with him for that million dollars. Hey, I've given it away for FREE so many times. Why not get rich off it? ;^)
What do you need?
Good health, quality friends, purposeful & enriching activities, my perfect lifemate, and to live for about 300 years. (DO any of you know a guy named Vlad?)
Will you cry at your wedding?
"at" or "after"? LOL. I probably will. I cried at my first one. And after, too. If I fall in love again, i probably will want to get "unionized" again.
Do you think relationships are even worth it?
Of course. Humans are social beings. We don't do well alone. That's hard-wired into our brains.
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
No. That's something i will avoid in the future as well. hopefully, if I'll kiss them, I'll want to sleep with them too (pun intended and double entendre intentional). My bff says that there are people she would have sex with before she would sleep with, because that would be way too much trust to give to someone new. You're awake while having sex (presumably). Asleep, you're all kinds of vulnerable.
Six months ago, did you like someone?
Not in the way this question intimates. Not...um..intimately. The dating pool around there needed chlorine.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
What am I, psychic?
Last movie you saw in theaters?
The Proposal, with CandaceW. But only saw it ONCE. In only ONE theater.
Ever dated a blond-haired, blue-eyed person?
Yes.
Are you afraid of roller coasters?
I'm not afraid of them, in the sense that they can come after me while I'm sleeping....but I am a little phobic about heights and that sensation that I am HELPLESS and ABOUT TO DIE.
How's your best friend?
My oldest best friend, or my new best friend? Although my first best friend is younger than my new one. But i love them both--the 1st best friend (who's younger, but older in my life) is in love and starting a new relationship and I am so happy for her because she deserves that so much!!! She's the best friend anyone could ever hope for. My younger best friend, who is chronologically older--my age--is just like me, so I can't say she's happy-go-lucky, but she certainly is a kindred and someone i love to communicate with.
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Oddly, I've decided to use that fading process on two of my tats and get more appropriate ones put on top of them.
What was the last thing you hid?
An extra key.
If you could spend more time with someone you used to be very close with, would you?
Obviously, depends on who. I don't have very many people from the past I care to spend time with--that's why they are in my past...except for the usual ones who drift naturally as their lives take them elsewhere...but i don't consider them "in the past" just less present. I'd like to live closer to my best friend, and hopefully it won't be long before she's in CO too and we can live within a few minutes of each other again. And I would also love to have Tanya nearby, as I need her, since she's so much like me, and we "get" each other.
Is there someone you will never forget?
I guess not, because i can't think of anyone. Notice the Irony.
Are you good at making new friends?
Yes, but that's a loaded question. Building a friendship is a mutual endeavor, and first, you have to be compatible enough to do that, and second, both agree that you wish to build it. I'm not big on casual acquaintances. Its sucks time and energy out of my life i need for my work, and the other people who have proven themselves quality individuals in my life. I'd rather give that energy and time to THEM.
What's on your mind?
Those books I need to finish edits on, the books i need to finish writing, my headache, how i sometimes have to spend a lot of energy resisting depression, how I could never survive without all my senses, how much i miss intimacy with someone special, how lonely i still am, how impatient i am, the threat of nuclear annihilation by some religious nut, how hard it is to be me in this world, the upcoming holiday alone (again), how much i seem to need books and television to get me out of my own head, my personal cosmology, that I'm still a pariah and probably always will be, how easy it is to become a target for various life-bullets, the reiteration that life isn't fair, that i won't live long enough to do and be and have and experience and learn everything i want to, that education is the key to most things, the fear that i won't ever find the woman of my dreams, the fear of growing old alone, and how much i love my morning coffee.
Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
Not anyone who is in my company...while I know one or two that do, but not frequently, I've found that most regular pot smokers are unmotivated, lethargic, and not very realistic. I don't enjoy hanging out with those types, so....but i really try to avoid it for practical and personal reasons because i don't want my car impounded and to go to jail for something they have in their pocket. I have an unnatural fear of strip searches, and large butch women with tattoos who want to do unspeakable things. I do feel that as long as alcohol is legal, marijuana should be too.
Are you mad at anyone?
Not mad, but chagrined by most people.
Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed?
This sort of assumes that we all get many texts before bed, doesn't it? The last text i got was from Tanya.
What does your last text say?
"How's your birthday been so far?"
Do you love that person?
yes i do.
Are you listening to anything?
The sound of my humidifier, and Pachelbel in the CD player
Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Normally, no. It's almost impossible to regain that kind of trust, once lost. But I am confident that there would be no reason for a woman to cheat on me. If I'm committed to someone, I make sure her needs are met and that she feels loved and respected. If she cheats, it signifies her inability to either be honest, communicate clearly, be monogamous, or any combination of the three.
Do you hate it when you go over to someone's house and do absolutely nothing?
Define "do absolutely nothing"--if that means sit motionless and stare at the wall, then yes i would hate that. But if you mean, no plans, No. If I'm going to someone's house, it implies i enjoy their company. Which means there are all kinds of ways to enjoy that time. I can talk with someone for hours. We can watch TV or a movie. Whatever. Depends on what interests we share. If that person needs me there for some reason, but can't give me any attention, then that would be okay, too, if it was important to them. I have a rich inner life, and am self-entertaining.
Do you know what it's like to be truly happy?
I don't think so. Only for short periods in my life, and maybe only during one segment of my life when i was in love and performing in my band. That was about 12 years ago. But I'm headed that direction, now, hopefully. I am happier right now, than perhaps I have ever been, just because i know I'm in a better position to realize my goals. But nothing has magically shifted into place just yet. Patience is a virtue i tend to slap around.
Do you have trust issues?
Define "issues" in this context. I don't give my full trust freely. Others must prove they are worthy of trust before they get it. This does not, however, mean I am not open. See Show and Tell blog post.
Does anyone disgust you?
Bill O'Reilly, Ann Colter, Rush Limbaugh, Religious fanatics in general, the crude and ignorant, those who drink and drive, drug-users, liars, cheats, pedophiles, rapists, and those who are cruel to animals and children. Is that enough?
Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you really angry?
Not angry...maybe perturbed, irritated, or frustrated.
Have you ever slow danced with someone?
Of course. But not in a very long time. I hope that will change soon, too. Slow dancing is so romantical.
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
When i was talking to Tanya on the phone. She and I always laugh a lot.
Do your parents force you to go to church?
Parents? who said I had parents? And even if i did--NO ONE forces me to do anything--especially not GO TO CHURCH.
Do you get along with girls?
I'd better, since I'm a lesbian. What a dilemma that would be:
"Okay get out of my bed and get dressed and go home."
"What the fuck? What's wrong with you? We just had sex!"
"Yes, but I just don't get along with girls."
How long do you have until your birthday?
OMG. I don't want to think about it. a little over 3 months. I hope to have found that eternal youth elixir by then. 'm already starting to lie about my age. And i suspect that's more about fooling myself, than anyone else.
Who did you last talk to in person?
A woman on a date... No, wait. The clerk at King Soopers. No, wait. The girl at the tanning bed reservation desk at the office. No wait...the lady in the science aisle at the library. I've been more social since moving, though still mostly superficial. Hopefully that will improve. Still better than in the last 5 years. Justi used to say that the only way i could find a gf was if she was the UPS driver.
Do you want your tongue pierced?
NOT if you paid me. it's a true health hazard. Bacteria grows in those things, and you can pass all kinds of stuff to other people. And frankly, the alleged sexual benefits are minuscule if not non-existent. It's not about your hardware, in that sense, but your software. And how well you know how to use it.
Are there any bruises on your body?
Usually always, somewhere, though the completed moving process has alleviated most of that.
How late did you stay up last night and why?
I went to sleep around 7:30 this morning and woke up at 12:50 when Justi called. I'm usually up all night because i have trouble going to sleep.
Are you alright?
That's not a word. It's not like "altogether" or "already." It's All right. But that's just me. I'm a writer and an editor. These things concern me to perhaps a larger degree than is healthy or personable. And to answer the implicated question...I am better than ever. And a great joy to know, as this response will undoubtedly show you.
Has anybody ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
Yes. Except when i had thyroid eye disease. Then it was "Did you know that your right eye is, like, about to pop out of your head?" And this person is my best friend.
When's the next time you'll see one of your closest friends?
I have no idea. Maybe never. Depends on whether they visit or move here, as hoped.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Oh, let me check my daybook....um...personal business and paperwork to get my tax return finally; returning some library books, mailing birthday and holiday gifts, and a broken e-pipe for replacement, trying to get a VIN verification so I can get my tags, reading, writing, listening to audiobook, and Television and a frozen dinner. I'll heat it up, though.
What are you doing after this?
Maybe Sleeping. Maybe more moping around with this headache. Definitely more medication/supplements.
Do you like winter?
Love love LOVE it. Fall, even better, But winter! love it. I love snow, and cool weather and fireplaces and cuddling....sigh. I hate hot weather with the red hot burning passion of a thousand suns.
What's something you can't wait for?
Obviously, if you've been paying attention: having a social circle, and more dates. And kissing. And sex. I miss sex. I hope i remember how to do it. And finding my dream woman. Or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
When is the next time you will kiss someone?
again, not psychic. Hopefully soon. Because i don't kiss someone unless I'm attracted. And so that would mean I hope i kiss someone soon.
You're thinking about someone, aren't you?
Yes. And shouldn't be.
Have you ever been in love?
Once, madly. And got my heart ripped out of my chest and handed back to me....so i swore I'd never be that vulnerable again. But now I would welcome that. The vulnerable and the love, not the heart-ripping. A human being can only go so long without love. No matter what the risks are.
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COMMENTS ·
Tina Stille, Candace Lynn Breaux and Denise Edwards Boyette like this.
Jae Baeli
Wow i am getting so much love and validation lately!!! what is happening??????? hehe.
Thank you Brian. I appreciate your attentiveness and respect. It feels wonderful.
..and Tan, again, thank you. So great to have a kindred. I do that with your answers too. Just wish we could actually hang out once in a while, but alas--I'll be even farther away now....but love to you.
Thank you Brian. I appreciate your attentiveness and respect. It feels wonderful.
..and Tan, again, thank you. So great to have a kindred. I do that with your answers too. Just wish we could actually hang out once in a while, but alas--I'll be even farther away now....but love to you.
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