5 Shooters in One Week-What gives?

7feb08—I heard four different reports of shootings—

• In Portsmouth, Ohio, a husband shot and stabbed his teacher wife in front of her students.
• In Los Angeles, some guy barricades himself in his house and says he killed three family members. . .swat officer shot and killed.
• and in St Louis MO (Kirkwood)city hall, Gerald Thornton shoots 5, and he is killed by police...

William Michael Layne, in the first incident, walked into his estranged wife's classroom and shot and stabbed her in front of her fifth-grade class. She had filed for divorce in January, so it seems this was related to that. She survived, as did another woman he stabbed in an alley a few blocks away. Later, in a police stand-off in Layne's home, he shot and killed himself.

The second shooter in Los Angeles apparently killed three men in the house, and also shot and killed a SWAT officer, wounding another, before killing himself.

The third shooter, Gerald Thornton, apparently blamed the city for citations he'd received, and said his constitutional rights were being taken. . .obviously, not, since he used the 2^nd amendment to obtain that gun and carry it over to the courthouse. A CNN reporter interviewed Thornton's brother, He seemed oblivious, and too thick to understand the gravity of the situation. . .the reporter asked him if he understood, and he continued to behave as if there was some sort of good reason for his brother to kill people. Tony Harris, the anchor at CNN cut the interview short because of the crap the guy was saying, as if excusing his brother's actions, saying something about how when you are "at war" there will be casualties.

She asked him afterward off camera and reported that he said Thornton owned a construction equipment company, and he was cited for having too many vehicles. Thornton had a reputation for being contentious and disrupting council meetings. The news conference a few minutes later, was so short, that reporter missed it as the speaker walked away, refusing questions.

While I was typing this on 8feb08, a breaking news report of the Baton Rouge Technical College student--a female--opened fire on the classroom, killing at least 2 people and then shooting herself.

Then, there was today's report of the shootings in at a lecture at Northern University in Illinois. The new "Saint Valentine's Day Massacre?"

What's the deal with a rash of shootings???? Why do people do it, and why do they seem to happen in clumps, one after the other?

Historically, these snipers and shooters are all men, (notwithstanding the the anomalous female shooter in Louisiana) . My guess is that it must have something to do with the fact that in our culture, men are discouraged from expressing their feelings. I think things just build up over time and then someone, proverbially, "Snaps."

5 Shooters in One Week-What gives?

Charity Begins At Home

According to an article from Scripps Institution of Oceanography in San Diego,

A new large-scale, multidisciplinary ocean exploration program would increase the pace of discovery of new species, ecosystems, energy sources, seafloor features, pharmaceutical products, and artifacts, as well as improve understanding of the role oceans play in climate change, says a new congressionally mandated report from the National Academies' National Research Council. Such a program should be run by a nonfederal organization and should encourage international participation, added the committee that wrote the report.

At least seventy percent of our planet is covered with water, yet only 2% of our oceans have been explored. I am dumbfounded by the lack of foresight and common sense in both the political sphere and in the scientific community. Who is responsible for dictating what we research? Lauren Mueller, of the Daily Utah Chronicle, said of NASA:

After a $500 million budget cut in 2007 ended in the threat of job losses and program cuts, the space agency requested $17.6 billion for 2009. The budget, which is sure to be reworked by the congressional powers that be, would be a 2.9 percent increase over the fiscal year of 2008, according to Wired magazine.

...With the support of unlikely climate enthusiast President Bush, the budget provides for six new Earth-monitoring satellites...Of course, the president then proposed across-the-board cuts in renewable energy and energy efficiency, so I guess we're back to square one politically.

The space program, then, will cost $17 billion, and while the exploration of space is fascinating, I feel that life on THIS planet should be the object of our allegiance; especially when there's still so much to be repaired, and so much to learn and benefit from in the depths of our oceans. We have every reason to believe that Earth seas will provide many things of value, not the least of which is the medicinal breakthroughs we so urgently need, and perhaps more bluntly, learning about Inner Space could lead us to useful solutions for Climate Change, which threatens profound global upset, if not annihilation.

This is another illustration of what I believe to be a lack of understanding about where our priorities should reside. I am a firm believer in the adage that Charity begins at home. Our government's tendency to be overly concerned about the well -being and the activities of other countries, has led to the decline of well-being in America. What sense does it make for our government to spend $275 million per day to "free Iraq", not to mention the cost of lives-close to 4,000 U.S. soldiers have died and more than 60,000 more wounded, and over 700,000 Iraqis have been killed while there are another 4 million refugees-all in the name of "bringing" a supposed democracy, freedom, and general well-being to another country, when citizens of America are ignored, starving, homeless, unable to get healthcare, and being taxed into poverty? Before we sink billions of tax dollars and other funds into building another nation, I believe we should build this one.

And what have we to show? A huge and unnecessary death toll in a war that lasted longer than any of the numbskull politicos presumed, and is without merit. Indeed, if America wishes to make this world a better place, it could start by paying attention to climate change, and taking steps to prevent the inevitable catastrophe that looms on that horizon. On a global scale, the money going to the idiocy of war can instead be spent developing things like alternative clean energy sources, providing healthcare for every citizen, education and educational opportunity, and that inimitable research of our oceans, among other things.

I'll say it again: Charity begins at home.

Charity Begins At Home

A Little Healthy Sarcasm Goes a Long Way

What with all the affirmations and mantras and positive self talk going on, it's obvious that we're trying to work with our minds in a way that will benefit us. But it's crucial to understand the differences in the conscious and subconscious mind.

The conscious mind makes decisions, filters information, and understands irony, sarcasm, implication and morality concepts. The subconscious mind, however, does not. If you have concerns about being overweight, and you look in the mirror and want to say "Moooooo!" there are ways to get your subconscious mind to help you out.

Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between statements like "I am fat" and "I am not fat." All it knows is I and FAT. Since the subconscious mind does not understand sarcasm, it's a relatively easy task to simply change the way you make those statements about yourself. Use sarcasm. Instead, say "Wow, I am PENCIL thin." Your subconscious will think "I, Thin," even though you were being sarcastic. And then it will begin to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Therefore, I contend, sarcasm is healthy. So all of you who say, "I hate sarcasm," you're not only telling your subconscious mind that you are sarcastic, you're also just missing a great opportunity to reprogram your entire life, while getting a good laugh.

A Little Healthy Sarcasm Goes a Long Way

A Jarring Thought

I was complaining to my best friend Justice about my lackluster sex life, and she said, "Yeah, the most action your body gets right now is shaving."

I've engaged in sexual activity only once in 9 months...and I'm hardly ever satisfied, so basically, I'd have an equal amount of angst if I was just a disembodied head, floating in a jar.

Most of my life surrounds what's going on in my head...so if i had my cranium suspended and alive in a jar, I wouldn't have to shave, because there would be nothing to shave, and i couldn't have sex, but I'm not having it NOW, so I'd be equally unsatisfied....basically seems to indicate I'd do just as well as a disembodied head, doesn't it? Of course, i wouldn't be able to type this...

A Jarring Thought

Awareness, Focus & Mindless Lemmings

The best example of how our minds focus and how we process the events around us, will be illustrated brilliantly in the video, below. It was made during research by Daniel Simons while at Harvard, (now at the University of Illinois) and Daniel Levin of Vanderbilt University.

Before you click the play button, understand that you are to focus on the players in the white shirts, and ignore the attempts of those in black, trying to distract you. You must count each time the ball is passed between those in WHITE shirts only...

( go here, to watch the video, -be patient while it loads- and hit back button to come back here.)


Now, that you have watched the video, you have a number in your mind of how many times the ball was passed between the white shirted people?


Yes?

Well, forget that. Did you happen to notice the GORILLA??

If you are among the majority, you did NOT notice the gorilla.

Watch the video again...

See it now?

You saw what you were focused upon, and blocked out the rest.
Now, think about all those times when something happened unexpectedly, and you felt you had no warning. Maybe a person behaved in a way you identified as unpredictable or out of character...maybe you just chose to focus on the other things about them, and missed this crucial bit of information that wound up costing you money, time, aggravation and heartache.

After I saw this video, it had me thinking about all that for some time. Then I was reminded again, with recent visceral experience. It has served to verify what I already knew, but chose to forget: We see what we want to see, and we see only what we focus upon. If you don't see XYZ, does it exist? For YOU, it doesn't. However, that has no bearing on the fact that XYZ DOES or MIGHT exist. So awareness is important, and an awareness of our ability to be UNAWARE is also important.

I made some choices in my last relationship to ignore the things I should have taken seriously. I saw all the red flags, and yet, chose to overlook them in favor of some idealized and/or erroneous concepts, such as,
a) You must let your guard down, in order to find love, and,
b) the negatives in a person have no effect on the positives, and,
c) I am older, now, and being in love won't feel the way it did when I was younger, and
d) I can force myself to feel something, merely because I want to.

None of these things turned out to be accurate. So much of my attraction-factor is based on the energy I exchange with a person, while sharing the same space. In other words, if I can't date someone, no amount of promise on the phone and in emails will replace that chemical and energetic thing that happens when two people are a few feet away from each other. It's inexplicable, and largely out of our control. You can sit in the garage and rev the engine, but that's not the same as taking it for a spin.

Yet, how does that coincide with concept of "act as if"? Part of manifesting, is to place yourself in a space wherein you "act as if" something is already true. Perhaps it is more a question of whether or not it is POSSIBLE to be true. For instance, if I focused wholeheartedly upon the color of my walls turning from white to teal, is it likely that I will be able to make that happen? No. So if we wish or manifest things into reality, they must be possible manifestations.

In the case of a relationship or another person, if they are intrinsically incapable of being that thing you wish, or they are otherwise not evolved to the point where they can become that thing, then all the wishing and manifesting in the world won't bring it to fruition. There are variables that tend to change the outcome of the equation. YOU might be capable of something, while THEY may not be. Personal evolution is self-contained. You do not have control over the inner processes in someone else's consciousness, unless you are an expert brainwasher, a sorcerer or a demi-god. If you are none of those things, then the fact is, wishing won't make that so.

So, where does that leave us? For me, knowledge is power. If I am aware of both my tendency to want to see only the positive, and my tendency to overlook the negative, then all I have to do is remain aware of both things, and not let one override the other. And I can, perhaps, avoid doing exactly as I am told all the time, like some mindless lemming. When someone says "Only look at this, not that" maybe I ought to secretly watch THAT, too; and in so doing, avoid plummeting off a cliff with all the other mindless lemmings.

Awareness, Focus & Mindless Lemmings

Not Window-Licker Special

...Just a Succubus

It is so difficult to find someone special--not "window-licker special" though. I was just on the phone with my best friend, and we've been discussing how we've probably NEVER had a "great" relationship. We went through this long list of every relationship we'd had, and they were all screwed in some way...what's up with that? It's like everyone has gone crazy--it's so hard to find women who are stable, sane, and NOT emotionally crippled. It's become this comedy of errors. If i didn't laugh, I'd cry.

I even got two whole books out of it! (Plethora and ISO).

I have this group of women-friends that i call the Hen Party. We get together and grill out, play games like Pictionary, and have cocktails or coffee, and talk smack. It helps. I also started this group on Eventful called "Atypical Lesbians of the U.S. & Canada" in an effort to find those like me and my friends, and band together for support and maybe find decent dates from the exponential thing that might happen through that: friends of friends of friends. But I'm not hopeful. I just feel on some level there has to be others like us, but where are they???

I would love Atypical Lesbians to expand into some nationwide, elite group where we'd know they're all at least friend material, and maybe dating material, you know?

I've been through this freakfest so long, I'm about to claw my eyes out. I'm in this mode right now where I'm close to giving up, and am trying to increase my circle of local friends so that i can have some semblance of normalcy, as far as a social life.

My best friend, Justice and I are now talking about how all that's left is some spell--we're reduced to witchcraft; conjuring some succubus, some love-demon--telling our friends, "Okay, time to start saving your menstrual blood, are you in or out?!"

It's insane. LOL.

Not Window-Licker Special

What is the deal with Lesbians?

From an online forum; my responses.

Posted By: bearwoman1959 on 11/22/2006 7:28:58 PM
Subject: what is the deal with lesbians?

Message: The deal with lesbians is that they don't like d..k !!! Plain and simple. I don't get it, but to each his own

Bearwoman,
I am an author, and also a lesbian. I think you have mentioned something that is a major misconception, and warrants discussion. Lesbians aren't lesbians simply because they don't like d**k. Lesbians are lesbians because they are attracted to women...it's about WHO it's "attached to." Myself and many of the lesbians i know do enjoy penetration-- both giving and receiving--it's about the person they are with, not the equipment.

The emotional connection that one woman can have with another woman, is part of the attraction. You simply resonate with your own gender and not with the opposite one. You know, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"--sometimes it's easier to bond when someone's from your own planet....it' s not always a hatred thing, it's often just an identity that is as real for us, as yours is for you. Not to say there aren't some individuals out there who are VERY confused. Some of us are not confused.

Also, most lesbians i know have been with men and figured out it wasn't their thing. Nothing mysterious about it. Our brains are hardwired to be attracted to what and whom we are attracted to.

And another misconception::: not all gay people identify solely as sexual creatures. I've always been so disgusted with the "mainstream gays" who present themselves as sexual deviants or promiscuous. Not all of us are like that. Maybe you haven't met lesbians with character and integrity, and for that, I'm sorry and chagrined... Believe me, i am often ashamed of the gay community...at the same time, you have to understand that gay people are relegated to the fringes of society, and so often, the only time they can meet each other is at a bar--you might meet someone you are really attracted to and want to get to know, but because you're not at a gay bar, you can't pursue it. And when that's your only way of meeting those like you, it leads to all that underbelly stuff like alcoholism and promiscuity. I have always been for other venues to meet gay people--like coffeeshops and Hen Parties at our homes. That's why i placed the ad about the Hen Parties. I'm making a concerted effort to gather like-minded lesbians in my area, so we can avoid the bars, and stop perpetuating the stereotypes...Me and mine are interested in intelligent conversation and real emotional bonding, not when our next good drunk will be. Hope this sheds some light.
Regards,
jaebaeli
(WittySegue)

Vinny low said, "it almost seems like its a new trend for women to be into women(even if theyre straight)...im not knocking any 1s sexual orientation but im wondering why its so much more accepted these days than say men on men...like so many guys think that 2 women making out is hot..and im wondering am i strange as a man...in that i do not find there to be anything hot or alluring about 2 women making out what so ever? "

Vinny,
Remember that trends are started by the youngsters... immature people who are still not quite sure of their identities, nor at all self-actualized. Often, i have found, YOUNG bi-sexual women, are really just experimenting with their sexuality, or trying to appear cool or dangerous, or otherwise attractive through the very scandalous nature of their (mis)deeds. I cannot speak to older, mature women who identify as bi, as i have never identified as bi myself, and am not qualified to address that. Just know that there are a lot of confused people out there, mostly because they are young and still trying to figure it all out, and the ones who are older and confused, have simply not evolved to the point of understanding, for a myriad of reasons. This confusion is such a hot topic, that i wrote a book that is a manual of sorts for mostly younger lesbians...it's called ISO (In Search Of): The Art of Dating, Relationships & Sex for the Discerning Lesbian. You can check that out at "my signature" dotcom.

...And Vinny, i wouldn't call you a strange man for not being turned on by 2 women together--an uncommon man, to be sure, but not strange. The sexual identity of a TRUE lesbian is not about impressing or titillating men, it's about acting on what feels most natural, and that's a private thing, not to be shared with the public at large.
Regards,
jaebaeli
(WittySegue)

What is the deal with Lesbians?

Cranky-Panted Chaos Theory

Okay, i know everyone has those times when they feel that the Universe is out of alignment and things are just not gellin' like a melon, but it still causes me great consternation. I am trying to frame it differently in my head... A series of things have led to my generalized condition of CRANKY-PANTS....
1) I discovered that after 6 months of trying to make a relationship work, it was doomed from the start, and then after moving on to friendship, had to endure a personal attack, (see "et tu brute" on this blog) and
2) Then I discovered that this person had truly misrepresented herself to the nth degree, which made me feel chumped (see "The Truth is Ever Clear" on this blog), yet i must take the blame, since i had plenty of red flags and plenty of gut-instinct that i chose to ignore, and
3) I keep planning and arranging things that continue to disintegrate, and
4) my cell phone service got turned off prematurely, before i could get my new service with another company, and
5) my domain expired, because when i moved, i forgot to notify the registrar of my email address, and so didn't receive the renewal, and now have to wait for them to answer my urgent mail to renew and update my information, which then caused
6) my myspace background to disappear and be replaced by a default one, because my server is inaccessible at the moment, and also,
7) my mp3 player on myspace is not operational, because the song files are also stored on my server, and,
8) no one can reach me via my main email, because it, too, is attached to my domain, which is down.

All these things, like dominoes, have fallen down in front of me, and rendered me cranky-panted.

In chaos theory, we learn that initial conditions are sensitive; one minor aberration, one minuscule change in those conditions, and we can have a plethora of alternative trajectories... meaning, things can feel and seem chaotic for a time, while there are infinite possibilities for outcome being created. So when things seem out of balance or even confusing and chaotic, there is an underlying order to be found beneath the surface. An overly simplified version of this idea is "things aren't always what they seem." This is true as well, of humans, and their behavior--both positive and negative.

So i am left with this monologue in my head, endeavoring to apply a more agreeable explanation, so that i don't remain cranky-panted.

Cranky-Panted Chaos Theory

Love on the Racks

...Fun with Metaphors

Dating and relationships can be compared to buying clothes...

You go to a place where all the clothes are, and grab a shirt off the rack, hold it up and say, "This is the perfect shirt for me." You pay for it, (sometimes too high a price), take it home, and then when you actually try it on, you realize it doesn't fit at all, binds you in all the wrong places, is the wrong color, or makes you look ridiculous. Then you have to take it back to the store and hope there's a return policy, so you won't be out the money, even if you are out the time spent buying the shirt.

What you should be doing, is first and foremost, not shopping unless you have the money to do so properly; and then shopping at many different stores, in many different neighborhoods. You should pull five or six shirts off the rack, and go directly to the dressing room to try them all on. You should model them in front a mirror, look at them from all angles. You should also never ask the sales person how they look on you, because the sales person has a conflict of interest. You should ask your best friend how you look in them (because you know your best friend will always tell you the truth); thus, you make a decision based on several perspectives, and how it feels to actually have each of them on, and not merely an impulse buy.

This metaphor illustrates the basics of how to seek a romantic partner. The clothes, of course are the potential dates, and the salesperson can represent several things, like the person you're dating-how they choose to represent themselves-- which could be a misrepresentation, after all. Looking at the clothes from all angles is analogous to spending enough time with a person to know the many facets of who they are. The shopping at different stores means don't look for your potential partner in one bar, or on one site, or at one event. You have to cast a wide net to increase your chances.

Primarily, you should be willing to take the time to make your decisions sound ones. There are those who are of the school of thought that "analysis is paralysis," meaning, thinking our relationship decisions through is somehow a buzzkill. In my mind, analysis is meant to foster understanding, and if you dismiss, out of hand, your experiences, conflicts, needs, and standards, then you learn nothing. If your intent is to understand the person, understand yourself, and endeavor to avoid doing the same things using the same methods, while expecting different results, this is indeed the definition of stupidity. And the person-garment you chose will never be the right fit.

Love on the Racks

The Truth is Ever Clear

It is with a renewed sense of disillusionment that i tap these words out; it's a morse code into the universe, a plea for sanity, a prayer for humanity. Melodrama, perhaps? Sure. But i really do feel that way. I feel that it is more and more difficult to find people who are stable and self-actualized; who don't have a cartful of baggage, rather than just a carry-on; and who would never look you in the eye and lie.

My previous relationship was a large learning experience for me, as all my relationships are, platonic or otherwise. I choose to frame them as little classrooms, micro-courses in the school of human nature and my place in it. WHile there is much to dissect about my last foray into romance, i have only one thing on my mind: that no matter how well you think you know someone, they all have secrets. Their true identity can be masked for a period of time, and the mask might not fall off until they are walking away or being shoved out the door, with any manner of debris left behind. THe person i refer to behaved in odd, disturbing, and verbally abusive ways, only to explain later that it was her medication, or that she was tired...There were other, more accurate reasons.

In my book, ISO: In Search Of, i warn against red flags and deal breakers in the relationship milieu. Yet i am as guilty as those i try to enlighten, of ignoring what i don't want to see. Need, desire, fear--these are all powerful emotions that can alter our perception of what color that flag really is..."maybe it's just sorta pink"..."or maybe it's really white, and that's just the wonderful sunshine reflecting off it"...nada. It is still a red flag. I noticed the associations, the warning signs, but chose to believe her when she explained. I didn't listen to my gut.

Now that the relationship has met its demise (for many other pertinent reasons), i am given this postscript on the story; this symbol of my own blindness, this evidence, left at the scene which i must now catalog in my mind for future reference. Love can be like CSI.

It was almost cinematic in its unfolding...she spent a good deal of time in the upstairs guest room, working on her projects and studying for school, while i was downstairs at my desk, doing my own work. Yesterday, i was moving the recliner from the guest room, and had to flip it over to get it to fit through the doorway. I heard a clunk, and turned around. On the floor in that hallway was an almost empty bottle of Everclear.

My brain wanted to explain that away. She was upset during our several breakups and reconciliations. She was drowning her sorrows. But then, who goes and buys a huge bottle of Everclear when they need a drink? Everclear is the choice of hardcore drinkers. It's hard to detect on the breath. It's monstrously strong. Why not wine coolers? Why not beer?

Then i began to recall all the other incidents...the two times on the phone before she moved here, when she was obviously blotto, and trying to drive herself home; that night she went off on something innocuous and sounded like a ranting, hateful harpy; the several times during tense conversations about our rickety future when she would behave like a total wino or scream and say things that made no sense and wasn't even on topic...only to forget it the next day, surprised at the retelling of it...

...and then it became clear. Everclear.

The Truth is Ever Clear

Et Tu, Brute?

"You blocks, you stones,
you worse than senseless things!
O you hard hearts, you cruel men of Rome..."
-Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

I am regularly dismayed by human behavior. It seems more and more difficult to find emotionally stable people--people who have a firm grip on character and integrity, a working knowledge of truth. Some folks are just plain mean.

Tonight, for instance, a person i thought was my friend turned on me, and although i think i know why, it still doesn't make it easier to take. She was incapable of processing her emotions in a healthy way, and took her angst out on me. She chose to believe things that were not true, because it somehow explained the failure of our relationship; and effectively kept her from doing any self-examination. She then chose to inflict great personal harm and insult, with no provocation. If a certain switch gets flipped, people are capable of selecting the most harmful or hurtful things to say to you, with full knowledge that it will inflict pain. To make this action even more reprehensible, her accusation was no more than a hypocritical projection--she was guilty of that which she accused me. Psychology 101.

These are the people who look you in the eye and deny their ability to crush you, deflect your attempts to ease your mind, and destroy your faith in humankind. No matter how many times someone tells me "Oh, i would never treat you like that," I have come to realize that those words mean precisely nothing to me. This is a level of cruelty i am not willing to have in my life--from friend nor foe.

You are not what you say,
you are what you do.

Et Tu, Brute?

Found a Peanut...

Okay, i was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and the conversation went something like this...

"Boy, you know, my butt really hurts..."

(we're really close, but...did I say butt?) "Okaaayy....."

"Yeah, I mean I went to the bathroom yesterday and--"

"Stop right there."

"What?"

"I don't think I want to hear this."

"Oh, come on," she said, "I've seen you naked."

I rolled my eyes and allowed her to continue, although the seeing me naked thing was a long time ago, and, I didn't feel, a sound enough argument.

"Well, I realized I was bleeding, and when I looked in the toilet--"

"Oh god," I said, covering my eyes, and suffering through it.

"There was a whole peanut there."

I uncovered my eyes and looked at her. "A whole peanut?"

"Yeah, here's the thing: I had not eaten any peanuts recently, and even if I had, I know for a fact I chewed them up first, so how the hell did I have a whole peanut in there?"

I just started laughing.

"I mean, really." She said. "How? How is that possible?"

I started singing 'Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut, just now'..."

She hit me on the arm. "Shut up and tell me how there was a peanut in my poop..."

Then I started singing that old Barbara Mandrell song, but with different lyrics: "I was puttin' peanuts in my pooop...i pooped some peanuts, when peanuts weren't cooool..."

"I'm going to kill you where you stand. Please tell me why there--"

"I don't know."

"Well here's my theory--"

She always has a theory.

"I think maybe the peanut came out of some fold in my colon."

"A peanut fold?"

"Yeah."

"Then how do you explain the fact that it was not chewed up?"

She thought about this for a nanosecond and then offered, "Well, now about a month ago, I had a bunch of peanuts in the shell, and was eating them."

"You were eating them with the shells on?"

"No, I mean that's the last time I had peanuts."

"So, you're saying this peanut was a month old?"

"It had to be. It's the only peanuts I've had."

"Well, there ya go..."

"No, but, it was a month ago! Where did it come from?"

"It came from that specialized peanut fold in your colon."

"Oh," she said.

Found a Peanut...

I Would Have Done Yadda Yadda

In our getting-to-know-you phase, we often come across instances or people in general who flounder about and have no idea how to please us. Then when it comes up later, and they say "Well, what did you want me to do?"

And you say, "I wanted you to do yadda yadda."

"Well, if you had just told me I should have done yadda yadda, I would have," they respond.

Now, when you were in school and you took an exam, and then turned it in, you might have marked a wrong answer. But you don't tell the teacher, "Hey, i'd be happy to put the right one on there, now that I know."

She is not going to let you do that, because you should have known the answer to begin with, and if you didn't you simply got it wrong. Period. You didn't know the subject well enough.

Consider your partner/significant other/spouse as a subject that you must study and learn and internalize, so that most of the time you make high marks. But whatever you do, don't complain that you would have done better, had they given you the right answers.

That's cheating.

I Would Have Done Yadda Yadda