07 December 2007

Crossing Paths

(from my book, Crossing Paths)

Sometimes there are people who cross paths with us, and it takes a little time to figure out the big picture of just why they do. Sometimes the big picture becomes unpretty. When it becomes clear that these two people are not good for each other for whatever reason, it is not always a thing to be regretted. I firmly believe that we can choose to see it as a valuable lesson, an enrichment of us on many levels. Some people are not meant to share any kind of path, but only to cross for a brief moment and continue the journey individually. We can feel wronged by this; we can feel cheated, frustrated. We can suffer the sandpaper of anger when the eventual truth blooms in our minds that this is not to be a journey shared. It's easy to allow this kind of discord to escalate until words become caustic, biting rapiers of injury. When that happens, it is often easier to hide behind that anger so we can mask the sadness of it. If we instead try to sever the ties with as much simplicity and kindness as we can muster, it is always best--but not always easiest. When we let go of our need to defend and accuse and beat the proverbial dead horse, we are left with just the compassion that one or both people are hurting. And the anger doesn't save us from that. We have to feel it and still know that it was the honorable thing to do, even if it leaves us with a cloying sadness.


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