I hung up feeling equal parts indignant, confused, and chagrined.It seems that one old friend is offended by the fact that i don't enjoy a relationship that resides exclusively through phone lines; It also seems that while i may have a history with this Phone Friend, this somehow implies that i have a present, as well; I stand accused of giving more to those who are currently present in my day to day life, than to you, old friend--you, who made a valiant effort to destroy me, and then demanded an apology. . . you, whom i haven't seen in person in three years; you, who might be in my area, but is unable to find a moment to see me. . .
Now, after i have pulled my life out of a gutter of nothingness and futility, managed to win a battle against all odds, and after i have reinvented myself, learned to embrace happiness and laughter, and after i have written and published six books, which you neither buy nor read--you chastise me for not supporting your career--the one that did not lend itself to support, the one you never had--and you remember only that i was pathetic and desperate and barely hanging on; that i traumatized you with my trauma back then, that i embarrassed you with my disability.
I remember that when i was in my darkest days, hungry, exhausted, in pain--you made me watch you buy fish for your aquarium.
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